Archive for the surrealism Category

OUT NOW: “Glass Children”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, dark comedy, dystopian, Fiction, horror, surrealism on July 24, 2023 by carltonmellick

My newest book, GLASS CHILDREN, is now available at amazon.



GLASS CHILDREN


The children of the glass generation are the most sensitive, fragile, entitled, spoiled, lazy, selfish little brats that human society has ever produced. Part of this is due to overprotective parenting, but it is mostly due to the fact that these children are literally made out of glass. Nobody knows why, but one day the human species went through a surreal mutation where babies started being born with delicate hollow glass bodies with no flesh or bones or anything holding them together but their thin delicate exoskeleton. They shatter whenever they fall down or are touched too firmly. Even a mother’s embrace will cause them to crack open like eggshells. And they are emotionally just as fragile as they are physically, breaking to pieces whenever they become upset or offended or don’t get exactly what they want at all times. They expect the world to revolve entirely around their safety and happiness. They demand that our culture adjust to meet their expectations. And it seems as though the rest of human society is more than willing to go to every extreme imaginable in order to accommodate them.


Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Goblins on the Other Side”

Posted in absurdism, afterlife, Bizarro Fiction, eraserhead press, horror, surrealism with tags , on May 9, 2022 by carltonmellick

My newest book, GOBLINS ON THE OTHER SIDE, is now available.

GOBLINS ON THE OTHER SIDE

There are no mistakes in Heaven. There are no flaws, no worries, no ugliness. Everything is perfect. Everyone is nice to each other and happy all of the time. Nobody is selfish or spiteful or mean. It is a place of peace and harmony. A place of love and hope and friendship. Nothing bad ever happens there.

But if you plan to visit, be sure to follow all of the rules. Stay inside your family’s designated area at all times. Do not venture off the beaten path. Always wear your goblin mask when looking out of the windows. And, most importantly, refrain from thinking unhappy thoughts. Negativity in Heaven is prohibited. You must never, ever be negative in any way whatsoever. If you whine or pout or criticize or complain, you do so at your own risk. We will not be held responsible for anything that happens to you.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Stacking Doll”

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, body horror, eraserhead press, Fiction, surrealism, urban fairy tales on March 12, 2018 by carltonmellick

STACKING DOLL

Stacking Doll is the story of Benjamin Hammond, a young man who is in love with a Russian nesting doll. But in this world, nesting dolls are not just antique wooden toys. They are a race of people known as Matryoshkans, a subspecies of human who are born with a very peculiar abnormality—they have a collection of smaller people living inside of them.

Benjamin never thought he’d ever fall in love with anyone, let alone a Matryoshkan, but from the moment he met Ynaria he knew she was the only one for him. Although relationships between humans and Matryoshkans are practically unheard of, the two are determined to get married despite objections from their friends and family. After meeting Ynaria’s strict conservative parents, it becomes clear to Benjamin that the only way they will approve of their union is if they undergo The Trial—a matryoshkan wedding tradition where couples lock themselves in a house for several days in order to introduce each other to all of the people living inside of them.

No human has ever gone through The Trial before, so Benjamin has no idea what’s in store for him. He assumes that he’ll love each of Ynaria’s inner selves just as much as he loves her, but as she peels off her layers he realizes that each one is more neurotic and difficult to deal with than the last. And if they’re ever going to be together, Benjamin must fall in love with each and every one of his fiancé’s inner personalities, no matter how strange or disturbing they turn out to be.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Spider Bunny”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, surrealism, Uncategorized, urban fairy tales on April 3, 2017 by carltonmellick

My new book, SPIDER BUNNY, is now available. This one is a tribute to the unintentionally terrifying children’s commercials of the ‘70s and ‘80s. I hope you check it out.

Spider Bunny

SPIDER BUNNY

Only Petey remembers the Fruit Fun cereal commercials of the 1980s. He remembers how warped and disturbing they were. He remembers the lumpy-shaped cartoon children sitting around a breakfast table, eating puffy pink cereal brought to them by the distortedly animated mascot, Berry Bunny. The characters were creepier than the Sesame Street Humpty Dumpty, freakier than Mr. Noseybonk from the old BBC show Jigsaw. They used to give him nightmares as a child. Nightmares where Berry Bunny would reach out of the television and grab him, pulling him into her cereal bowl to be eaten by the demented cartoon children.

When Petey brings up Fruit Fun to his friends, none of them have any idea what he’s talking about. They’ve never heard of the cereal or seen the commercials before. And they’re not the only ones. Nobody has ever heard of it. There’s not even any information about Fruit Fun on google or wikipedia. At first, Petey thinks he’s going crazy. He wonders if all of those commercials were real or just false memories. But then he starts seeing them again. Berry Bunny appears on his television, promoting Fruit Fun cereal in her squeaky unsettling voice. And the next thing Petey knows, he and his friends are sucked into the cereal commercial and forced to survive in a surreal world populated by cartoon characters made flesh.

Get it at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Quicksand House”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, Fiction, horror, surrealism on July 18, 2013 by carltonmellick

My 41st book is now available. This is a book I’ve had in my head for over 15 years, but I didn’t feel I was ready to write it until now. It’s a bit longer than my most recent books and perhaps one of my best. This is for those who prefer my darker and more serious work (like The Egg Man) over my campy/trashy comical stuff (like Morbidly Obese Ninja).

QUICKSAND HOUSE

“You must never leave the nursery. If you leave, you will certainly die.”

Tick and Polly have never met their parents before. They live in the same house with them, they dream about them every night, they share the same flesh and blood, yet for some reason their parents have never found the time to visit them even once since they were born. Living in a dark corner of their parents’ vast crumbling mansion, the children long for the day when they will finally be held in their mother’s loving arms for the first time… But that day seems to never come. They worry their parents have long since forgotten about them.

When the machines that provide them with food and water stop functioning, the children are forced to venture out of the nursery to find their parents on their own. But the rest of the house is much larger and stranger than they ever could have imagined. The maze-like hallways are dark and seem to go on forever, deranged creatures lurk in every shadow, and the bodies of long-dead children litter the abandoned storerooms. Every minute out of the nursery is a constant battle for survival. And the deeper into the house they go, the more they must unravel the mysteries surrounding their past and the world they’ve grown up in, if they ever hope to meet the parents they’ve always longed to see.

Like a survival horror rendition of Flowers in the Attic, Carlton Mellick III’s Quicksand House is his most gripping and sincere work to date.

AVAILABLE AT WWW.AMAZON.COM

OUT NOW: “Village of the Mermaids”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, David Lynch, eraserhead press, mermaids, surrealism on April 9, 2013 by carltonmellick

Here it is. My 40th book is in print and now available at amazon.com. 40th book release? That sounds like a call for celebration. It’s also my ten year anniversary of being able to quit the day job and write for a living. I think I’m getting some Super Dog IPA at Lucky Lab Brewery tonight.

This book is my April release (next one will come out in July). This book contains another bonus comic at the end.

Also: mermaids!

mermaids

VILLAGE OF THE MERMAIDS

MERMAID [mur-meyd] noun — a rare species of fish evolved to resemble the appearance of a woman in order to attract male human prey.

Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren’t able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet.

The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these “feeder humans” are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids’ new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea.

Like a Lovecraftian version of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, Village of the Mermaids is a dystopian mystery that proves once again how cult author Carlton Mellick III brings the weird to a whole new level.

AVAILABLE AT WWW.AMAZON.COM

Village of the Mermaids – Preview

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy, mermaids, surrealism, twin peaks, Uncategorized on April 3, 2013 by carltonmellick

This is a deleted scene from my book, Village of the Mermaids, which will soon be available at amazon.com. It introduces the character of Doctor Black. The scene takes place before the book begins and can be read as a stand-alone story.

Continue reading

OUT NOW: Hammer Wives

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, Fiction, horror, surrealism, zombies on February 11, 2013 by carltonmellick

My third story collection is now available.

HAMMER WIVES

Fish-eyed mutants, oceans of insects, and flesh-eating women with hammers for heads.

Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author Carlton Mellick III has been pumping out dozens of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books you’ve probably never heard of… even though you definitely should. Hammer Wives collects six of his most popular novelettes and short stories, including:

SIMPLE MACHINES
A man discovers that his body is actually a machine run by dozens of miniature clones of himself.

RED WORLD
A recovering junky must save his 8-year-old brother from a life of prostitution in a surreal version of New York City… a place where street kids mutate into fish-like creatures, the homeless stilt-walk through oceans of insects, and the only colors left visible to the human eye are shades of red.

HAMMER WIVES
A young man inherits ten eternally youthful wives from an estranged uncle he never knew he had… which wouldn’t have been such a bad thing if they didn’t have giant hammers for heads or a tendency of bludgeoning people to death for fun, food, or sexual pleasure.

LEMON KNIVES ‘N’ COCKROACHES
Cockroach-like children survive the zombie apocalypse by hiding between the walls of on old school building.

WAR PIG
In a steam-powered underworld, a bloodthirsty pig-man boxer will sacrifice everything to prevent his son from following in his footsteps.

THE MAN WITH THE STYROFOAM BRAIN
The recently departed reflect on the stupid reasons why they sold their souls to the devil.

AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM

Bizarro Christmas Recommendations

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, christmas books, eraserhead press, surrealism on December 17, 2012 by carltonmellick

Here are some bizarro books you can shove in your stocking!

They are available at amazon.com and other online retailers. It’s not quite too late to order from amazon to get these in time for Christmas, especially if you have Amazon Prime. You probably should sign up for Prime anyway if you don’t have it already. It’s worth it to always have free 2-day shipping.

BIZARRO CHRISTMAS BOOKS

sausagey santachristmas on cracksanta steps outsanta conquers the homophobes

NEW BOOKS BY ME

kill balltumor fruithandsome squirmarmadillo fists

NEW BOOKS BY ERASERHEAD PRESS

unicorn battle squaddie you doughnut bastardsspace walrusbest bizarro fiction of the decade

Works in Progress

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, post-apocalypse, surrealism on November 21, 2012 by carltonmellick

Kill Ball was the last book of mine to be released this year, but I’ll have a new book called “Cuddly Holocaust” coming out the first week of January. More info on that one next week.

Here is a list of books I am currently working on. I have no idea when they will be finished or released, but I thought you might be interested in what I’ve been working on.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Cuddly Holocaust – final draft stages
Hammer Wives – my next collection. Just need to finish the title story.
As She Stabbed Him Gently in the Face – bizarro serial killer story
Village of the Mermaids – a story about vampire mermaids and human livestock.
Pippi of the Apocalypse – the third book in the wolf women series.
Wonka – retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in apocalyptic Beyond Thunderdome setting.
Quicksand House – quiet bizarro
Seven Cyborgs – bizarro sci-fi retelling of 7 Samurai
The Super Evils – bizarro superhero story
Clusterfuck – a follow-up to Apeshit

Bizarro Brigade Exclusives
these won’t be for sale to the general public.

Skinhead Girls – unreleased early work very similar to Satan Burger.
The Secret Adventures of Dr. Seuss – kinky Seuss world book.