Archive for the mermaids Category

OUT NOW: “Full Metal Octopus”

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, mermaids, urban fairy tales, Urban Fantasy with tags , , on July 20, 2021 by carltonmellick

My newest book, FULL METAL OCTOPUS, is now available.

FULL METAL OCTOPUS

Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes.

Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it’s more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona.

Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot’s size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He’s so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona’s tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival.

Available at amazon.com

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New Eraserhead Press Releases — SPRING 2013

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, Fiction, Jeff Burk, mermaids, post-apocalypse, Uncategorized on April 26, 2013 by carltonmellick

Normally, Eraserhead Press releases 3-4 books per quarter. This quarter, however, there are only two releases. I blame this on Shatnerquest. It required more publishing slots to contain all of the awesome.

shatnerquestmermaids

SHATNERQUEST by Jeff Burk

After the apocalypse, three Star Trek fans and their morbidly obese cat embark on a quest to save their beloved idol, the one and only William Shatner, from the hostile world America has become.

But their journey will not be easy, for the wasteland is filled with cannibal cults, Klingon biker gangs, Zombie Borg, and all manner of mutant creatures. And once they arrive at their destination, they discover that William Shatner has been transformed into Shatzilla – a giant 100-story radioactive monster hell-bent on destroying all of Los Angeles.

Now instead of saving Shatner from this new apocalyptic world, these three fans must save the world from this new apocalyptic Shatner. If only there was another giant monster who could take him down…

From the author who brought you the cult hit Shatnerquake, comes another Shat-tastic sci-fi comedy that proves once and for all that there actually is something even bigger than William Shatner’s ego. And it is… William Shatner!

Click here to buy from Amazon.com

VILLAGE OF THE MERMAIDS by Carlton Mellick III

MERMAID [mur-meyd] noun — a rare species of fish evolved to resemble the appearance of a woman in order to attract male human prey.

Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren’t able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet.

The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these “feeder humans” are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids’ new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea.

Like a Lovecraftian version of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, Village of the Mermaids is a dystopian mystery that proves once again how cult author Carlton Mellick III brings the weird to a whole new level.

AVAILABLE AT WWW.AMAZON.COM

SUMMER 2013 RELEASES:
(Coming in July)

“In Heaven Everything is Fine: Stories Inspired by the Films of David Lynch” edited by Cameron Pierce
“Quicksand House” by Carlton Mellick III
“Japan Conquers the Galaxy” by Kirsten Alene
“You Are a Sloth” by Steve Lowe

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OUT NOW: “Village of the Mermaids”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, David Lynch, eraserhead press, mermaids, surrealism on April 9, 2013 by carltonmellick

Here it is. My 40th book is in print and now available at amazon.com. 40th book release? That sounds like a call for celebration. It’s also my ten year anniversary of being able to quit the day job and write for a living. I think I’m getting some Super Dog IPA at Lucky Lab Brewery tonight.

This book is my April release (next one will come out in July). This book contains another bonus comic at the end.

Also: mermaids!

mermaids

VILLAGE OF THE MERMAIDS

MERMAID [mur-meyd] noun — a rare species of fish evolved to resemble the appearance of a woman in order to attract male human prey.

Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren’t able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet.

The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these “feeder humans” are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids’ new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea.

Like a Lovecraftian version of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, Village of the Mermaids is a dystopian mystery that proves once again how cult author Carlton Mellick III brings the weird to a whole new level.

AVAILABLE AT WWW.AMAZON.COM

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Village of the Mermaids – Preview

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy, mermaids, surrealism, twin peaks, Uncategorized on April 3, 2013 by carltonmellick

This is a deleted scene from my book, Village of the Mermaids, which will soon be available at amazon.com. It introduces the character of Doctor Black. The scene takes place before the book begins and can be read as a stand-alone story.

Continue reading →

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