Archive for December, 2009

New artwork: two more

Posted in art on December 30, 2009 by carltonmellick

girl 77

girl 76

Brian Keene on “Apeshit”

Posted in Bizarro Books on December 28, 2009 by carltonmellick

Every year around this time, bestselling horror author Brian Keene lists his top ten reads of the year. This year, out of 246 books, he ranked my book Apeshit at #6.

This is what he had to say:

6. APESHIT by Carlton Mellick III – If there has ever been a more apt title for a novel, I don’t know what it is. Apeshit is Carlton Mellick’s absolutely ape-shit bizarro homage to the 80’s slasher genre. It has all the trappings. A carload of surplus, expendable teenagers. A remote, backwoods cabin. Strange local inhabitants. A killer lurking in the woods. But these tropes are soon vivisected, examined and then sewn together into new things, as the best fiction of the bizarro genre often does. Hilarious, insightful and absolutely over-the-fucking-top, Apeshit will appeal to both traditional slasher fans and readers who want something a bit heavier. Plus, the scene with the girl who uses her own intestines as a rope is the grisliest – and funniest – thing I’ve read all year.

New artwork

Posted in art on December 27, 2009 by carltonmellick

The day after Christmas I decided to relax and do some artwork.

This is what I did:

girl 75

What I got for Christmas

Posted in Random Shit on December 26, 2009 by carltonmellick

Three christmases were pretty exhausting but a lot of fun. I’m ready to sleep for a couple days. This is what I was given:

Left for Dead 2
Doctor Who – E-Space Trilogy
Doctor Who – Delta and the Bannermen
Boneshaker by Cherie Priest
Farscape the complete series
Gunslinger Girl 2 complete boxset
Last Exile complete boxset
Star Trek PEZ dispenser boxset
some gift cards
a sausage

Christmas Card for you

Posted in Random Shit on December 24, 2009 by carltonmellick

A Christmas Song – Santa Claws

Posted in Bizarro Artists, Bizarro Books, Random Shit on December 21, 2009 by carltonmellick

Andrew Goldfarb, bizarro musician and author of Slub Glub in the Weird World of the Weeping Willows, has a new Christmas song for you. Goldfarb’s pet guinea pig Coco does percussion on the song.

Listen to it here:

Santa Claws

merry christmas



Santa Claws

santa claws

More info on Andrew’s bizarro children’s book:


Santa Conquers the Homophobes

Posted in Bizarro Books on December 20, 2009 by carltonmellick

This looks like a book worth checking out:

“Santa Conquers the Homophobes” by Robert Devereaux

I’ve read Robert’s earlier book “Santa Steps Out” which was just brilliant. I’m sure this one is good too. It’s too late to recommend this as a Christmas gift, but maybe next year.

Samurai Hamburglar!

Posted in art, Bizarro Authors on December 10, 2009 by carltonmellick

Here is another poster from my book Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland:

This one is of the Hamburglar, the evil henchman of Mayor McCheese who happens to be a sadistic badass samurai with the reflexes of a cat. I’m thinking I might have to write another story just about Mayor McCheese and the Hamburgar.

Mayor McCheese of the Post Apocalypse

Posted in art, Bizarro Books on December 9, 2009 by carltonmellick

Here is a poster from my book Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland:

It is Mayor McCheese, the evil warlord of the wasteland. Perhaps the dumbest villain I have ever come up with. This is a promotional poster. I’m thinking about maybe selling some of these on my site, if there’s interest.

Get 4 bizarro books for the price of 3

Posted in Bizarro Books on December 7, 2009 by carltonmellick

I thought some of you might be interested to know that is running a 4-for-3 promotion. Buy four eligible items and get the lowest priced item free. This combined with the free super saver shipping (on orders over $25) saves a lot of money.

Go here for a full list of all Eraserhead Press books available on the 4 for 3 deal:

My books available for the 4 for 3 deal are these:

sausagey santa
faggiestbabyjesushaunted vaginaultrafuckerswarslutseaofthepatchworkteeth

Sausagey Santa

The Faggiest Vampire
Baby Jesus Butt Plug
The Haunted Vagina
Ultra Fuckers
War Slut
Sea of the Patchwork Cats
Teeth and Tongue Landscape