dark comedy | Carlton Mellick III

Archive for the dark comedy Category

OUT NOW: “Snuggle Club”

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, cuddle parties, dark comedy with tags cuddle parties on March 10, 2020 by carltonmellick

My newest book, SNUGGLE CLUB, is now available.

SNUGGLE CLUB

After the death of his wife, Ray Parker decides to get involved with the local “cuddle party” community in order to once again feel the closeness of another human being. Although he’s sure it will be a strange and awkward experience, he’s determined to give anything a try if it will help him overcome his crippling loneliness. But he has no idea just how unsettling of an experience it will be until it’s far too late to escape.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Exercise Bike”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, body horror, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy on January 16, 2017 by carltonmellick

My new book “Exercise Bike” is now available.

EXERCISE BIKE

There is something wrong with Tori Manetti’s new exercise bike. It is made from flesh and bone. It eats and breathes and poops. It was once a billionaire named Darren Oscarson who underwent years of cosmetic surgery to be transformed into a human exercise bike so that he could live out his deepest sexual fantasy. Now Tori is forced to ride him, use him as a normal piece of exercise equipment, no matter how grotesque his appearance.

Set in a health food dystopia, “Exerice Bike” is an absurd horror tale of domination and submission, power and obedience, desire and desperation.

Get it at amazon.com

Horror and Shit! (On the Mind-Blowing Bizarro Nightmare Stylings of Carlton Mellick III)

Posted in dark comedy, deadite press, extreme horror, horror on January 13, 2014 by carltonmellick

John Skipp, master of horror and a huge inspiration on my writing when I was young, has just written up an article about three of my hardcore horror novels, Clusterfuck, Apeshit, and Zombies and Shit. It’s published at Fangoria — a magazine I read obsessively around the same time I was reading Skipp. My teenaged self is so jealous of me right now.

Click to read it:

http://www.fangoria.com/new/nightmare-royale-10-horror-and-shit-on-the-mind-blowing-bizarro-nightmare-stylings-of-carlton-mellick-iii/

Full List of CM3 Books Published in 2013

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy, David Lynch, eraserhead press, extreme horror on January 6, 2014 by carltonmellick

2013 was a good year for me. I released 3 novels (including Clusterfuck, the sequel to my cabin in the woods parody Apeshit, and new fan favorite Quicksand House), 1 novella, 1 short story collection, and five older books were reissued. A total of 10 books! I’m not sure what 2014 will bring (aside from Hungry Bug, which will be available soon), but I hope it will be even better.

Here’s the full list:

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Village of the Mermaids – Preview

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy, mermaids, surrealism, twin peaks, Uncategorized on April 3, 2013 by carltonmellick

This is a deleted scene from my book, Village of the Mermaids, which will soon be available at amazon.com. It introduces the character of Doctor Black. The scene takes place before the book begins and can be read as a stand-alone story.

Continue reading →

2 Comments »

Featured Titles

You Always Try to Kill Me In Your Dreams
A man struggles to survive in the hellish dream worlds of his college crush.
Dark and surreal.

The Girl with the Barbed Wire Hair
A boy is stalked by a dead girl that’s fallen desperately in love with him.
Dark and creepy.

Goblins on the Other Side
A girl visits her dead grandmother in Heaven.
Creepy and surreal.

Full Metal Octopus
A fairy and an octomaid go on the run from the elf yakuza.
Pulpy and sexual.

The Bad Box
A class of fifth grade students find themselves at the mercy of a malicious godlike teacher.
Dark and absurd.

Snuggle Club
A short horror comedy that takes the art of communal snuggling to a whole new extreme.
Awkward and creepy.

Mouse Trap
A group of school children try to survive an alien invasion within an abandoned amusement park.
Dark and pulpy.

The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart
A Bio-Mech pilot drafted into Hell’s army must fight his way through a surreal afterlife in order to save his wife from slavery.
Dark and pulpy.

Neverday
The story of what happens to society after everyone in the world gets trapped in a never-ending time loop.
Dark and dystopian.

Stacking Doll
The story of a man who falls in love with a Russian nesting doll.
Dark and surreal.

Parasite MIlk
A travel show producer is infected with deadly sexually transmitted parasites after visiting a brothel on an alien planet.
Body horror science-fiction comedy.

The Big Meat
A kaiju tribute novel that explores the surreal aftermath of a giant monster attack.
Dark and gritty.

Spider Bunny
A group of college kids get trapped inside a deranged children’s cereal commercial from the 1980’s.
Creepy and absurd.

Exercise Bike
The story of a man who transformed himself into a human exercise bike and the woman who is forced to ride him.
Absurd body horror.

The Terrible Thing That Happens
In a post-apocalypse world, a small community of scavengers must survive by looting a grocery store that’s stuck in a time loop.
Dark and surreal.

Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes
A tale of childhood love and spontaneous face explosions.
Cute and disturbing.

Bio Melt
Within a toxic wasteland, six strangers find themselves trapped in an abandoned hotel, surrounded by a mysterious black ooze.
Dark and surreal.

ClownFellas
Six interconnected novellas revolving around the Bozo clown crime family
Surreal and Pulpy.

As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
A sociopathic killer meets an even more sociopathic victim
Dark and strange.

Sweet Story
A children’s book gone horribly wrong.
Dark humor.

The Tick People
In a city where people live like parasites on the back of a giant animal, a professional sadness-maker discovers that his soul mate is a hideous mutant.
Dark and surreal.

Hungry Bug
In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction.
Gritty and pulpy.

Clusterfuck
A bunch of douchebag frat boys get trapped in a cave with subterranean cannibal mutants and try to survive not by using their wits but by following the bro code.
Comical and violent.

Quicksand House
Two children who have never met their parents before, even though they live in the same house with them, must fight for survival once their nursery becomes uninhabitable.
Dark and Dystopian.

Village of the Mermaids
An eccentric doctor travels to an isolated village of carnivorous mermaids to investigate a new disease spreading through the herd of human livestock.
Dark and Dystopian.

Cuddly Holocaust
A tale of survival set in a world where most of the human race has been exterminated by vicious stuffed animals.
Apocalyptic and brutal.

Hammer Wives
Six novellas and short stories.

Kill Ball
A slasher thriller set in a city where everyone lives in plastic bubbles.
Dystopian and surreal.

Tumor Fruit
Seven castaways stranded on a bizarre deserted island must go to extremes in order to survive.
Surreal and disturbing.

The Handsome Squirm
It’s Franz Kafka’s The Trial meets an erotic horror version of The Blob when a man is forced by law to marry an alien woman who devours her mates.
Absurd and dystopian.

Armadillo Fists
Set in a world where people drive mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars, a female boxer with armadillo hands is on the run from deranged mobsters.
Pulpy and fun.

I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter
A parody of romantic comedies about a man who finds himself engaged to a succubus who’s pregnant with his child.
Light and satirical.

Fantastic Orgy
One novella plus four short stories.

Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
The sequel to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland.

The Morbidly Obese Ninja
A 700 pound killing machine must go against his corporate employers in order to save a terminal child.
Pulpy and fun.

Crab Town
A bizarre bank heist set in a radioactive post-nuke ghetto.
Dystopian and relevant.

Zombies and Shit
It’s Battle Royale meets Return of the Living dead in a fight to the death game of survival where twenty contestants are put against each other in the middle of the zombie wasteland.
Apocalyptic, pulpy, and epic.

The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment +2
A group of adventurers learn they are actually fictional characters trapped in the worst Dungeons & Dragons campaign of all time.

Satirical and dumb.

Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
A Wonderland Book Award-winning novel about a three-armed man who finds himself in the middle of a war between a gang of road warrior werewolves and mutants from a dystopian version of McDonaldland.

Apocalyptic, pulpy, and epic.

The Cannibals of Candyland
A man finds himself imprisoned in an under ground world populated by child-eating mutants made of candy.
Erotic and horrific.

Apeshit

A parody of cabin in the woods horror stories where the victims turn out to be far more deranged than the mutant killers who hunt them.

Campy and fucked up.

The Egg Man
It is a survival of the fittest world where humans reproduce like insects, children are the property of corporations, and having a ten-foot tall brain is a grotesque sexual fetish.
Dark, dystopian, and ugly.

Cybernetrix
A dark and bizarre parody of the movie Tron where a game world and our world bleed together into one reality.
Pulpy and awesome.

The Faggiest Vampire
A bizarro children’s book about two vampire rivals competing in a mustache contest to determine which one is the faggiest.
Cute and relevant.

The Ultra Fuckers
A landscaper and a trio of Japanese punks find themselves stranded in a suburban gated community that seems to go on forever.
Nightmarish and absurd.

Adolf in Wonderland
Nazis from an alternate world of absolute perfection go down the rabbit hole into a dark surreal world of chaos and imperfection.
Absurd and horrific.

Sausagey Santa
A bizarro Christmas story… filled with sex and violence.
Satirical and pulpy.

The Haunted Vagina
It’s difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead.
Satirical and absurd.

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"If you like satires which are highly imaginative, subversive, gory, funny as hell and completely surreal CM3 may be your literary messiah."

—Ricardo Gonzalez Del Valle

"CM3 is the most imaginative writer since Lethem and Vonnegut. Different, and absolutely thought provoking..."

—Daniel McCreary

"Carlton Mellick creates fascinating and intricate worlds out of meat, slime, sexuality, wire, and the kind of nightmares that make you laugh when you wake up."

—Jemiah Jefferson

"Brilliant writing that oozes into your skull and melts your brain like a box of a zillion crayons."

—Idiot Alien Thought Creature

"His books are from another universe."

—Cameron Pierce

"Mellick is smarter than the dumbness he tries to coat his writing in; you feel like you're reading a comic or watching MTV - but that underneath there is something deeper and smarter than the cartoonish presentation before your eyes."

—Euchrid

"Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."

—Ian David McGowen

"There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety. Yes, it's all on purpose, and you've just been had!"

—Schtinky

"Mellick has definitely joined the ranks of the bizarre literary geniuses such as Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, and Vonnegut."

—Charles Glover

"Mellick's imagination is boundless, and his writing truly shows this. His characters, plot, and writing style are original, enjoyable, and inspiring."

—Lionel Bigsby

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Carlton Mellick III

Archive for the dark comedy Category

OUT NOW: “Snuggle Club”

OUT NOW: “Exercise Bike”

Horror and Shit! (On the Mind-Blowing Bizarro Nightmare Stylings of Carlton Mellick III)

Full List of CM3 Books Published in 2013

Village of the Mermaids – Preview

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