Archive for May, 2010

New EHP Book: “My Fake War” by Andersen Prunty

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Uncategorized on May 29, 2010 by carltonmellick

my fake war

This is an Eraserhead Press book I highly recommend. It’s a quick bizarro read that just gets more absurd as it goes. I don’t throw around the term brilliant too often, but this is brilliant. Check it out.

The absurd tale of an unlikely soldier forced to fight a war that, quite possibly, does not exist.

Saul Dressing is a flabby middle-aged librarian who just wants to be left alone to listen to jazz, watch porn, and cultivate his toenails. All of this changes when a soldier in a camouflage sweat suit shows up to draft him into the army of the United States of Everything. His mission is simple: go to a foreign country no one has ever heard of and incite the opposition to strike first. All alone in the middle of a desert with no enemy in sight, Saul must come to terms with the absurdity of his situation. Thus begins a surreal journey into the politics of war, consumerism, and giant robots.

It’s Rambo meets Waiting for Godot in this subversive satire of American values and the scope of the human imagination.

Get it at:

Sex Toys for Furries

Posted in Bizarro Books, Random Shit on May 21, 2010 by carltonmellick

I wish this ad would have been in the back of my book Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland.

Cancer-cute auction – only time this book will ever be for sale

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction on May 20, 2010 by carltonmellick

I donated a signed copy of my exclusive story collection CANCER-CUTE to a charity auction to help out author/publisher/friend Jerrod Balzer who is in need of medical/financial assistance. Cancer Cute is a collection of my early chapbooks, featuring long out of print stories and poems. Usually, it is only available if you earn 500 points in my street team, the Avant Punk Army. This is the first and only time you can actually pay for it.

The auction groups Cancer-cute with 5 other collectible novels by Bryan Smith and Mark McLaughlin (an author that every fan of bizarro fiction should read). There’s only three days left of the auction, so if you’re interested place your bids now. This is the only time you’ll ever be able to buy a copy of it. (Well, unless I decide to donate a copy to another worthy cause, but I’m not sure if that will happen). Remember, all profits go to help out a writer in need.

The auction is here:

Good luck!

Swallowdown Press 2 books for 1 – HELL YEAH!

Posted in Bizarro Books, Uncategorized on May 13, 2010 by carltonmellick


Cody Goodfellow, one of the best new writers to come out in the past decade, is one of the flagship writers coming out through bizarro publishing house Swallowdown Press. Jeremy Robert Johnson, the editor of Swallowdown, knows good fiction when he sees it. For the next four weeks you can get a free Swallowdown Press book if you buy one of Cody Goodfellow’s books. I highly recommend Cody’s books. “Perfect Union” will flip your shit.

By the way, I’m the one who designed these books so that of course makes them double plus awesome.

This just in from Jeremy’s website:

It’s official, folks! May 13th-June 13th, 2010 will henceforth be known as Cody Goodfellow month (for at least a period of one month)!

In honor of this fine and lovely occasion, Swallowdown Press is offering an outstanding deal on weird shit!

Order either of Cody’s astonishing books (covers shown above) and receive another book for FREE.

This includes Extinction Journals, Siren Promised, Angel Dust Apocalypse, or the giant 37 author Falling From the Sky anthology (though this last is limited 5 copies). Just order one of Cody’s books, then indicate which FREE book you’d like in the Notes to Seller section.

Wait! You want more FREE books? Well, okay.

When you buy one of Cody’s books and love it, do us a favor and pop up an Amazon review. Doesn’t have to be epic; just 4 or 5 stars and a batch of friendly adjectives. Send me a link to the posted Amazon review and I’ll send you another FREE book.

So, that’s a potential 3 great books for the price of 1, and you’ll receive the good karma inherent in supporting the independent press.

Anybody who’s read this blog before knows that I think Cody Goodfellow is a stellar writer, one of the best in the business regardless of genre. But you don’t have to take my word for it…

Check out this great review of SWFQW from Dark Discoveries: “One can certainly see influences of Lovecraft, the New Wave of SF writers of the sixties, the Cyberpunks and Splatterpunks – and even surrealists like Kafka and Borges. Don’t get me wrong though, Cody Goodfellow is one of a kind. Highly Recommended!”

Or the recent acclaim for SWFQW from Black Static magazine: “[Short story] ‘Atwater’ is a tour de force of reckless invention, the prose pyrotechnics and in your face imagery that are a vital component of the other stories here bubbling over like the lava flow from a misbehaving volcano.”

It’s also worth noting that Cody racked up four (!) Honorable Mentions from Ellen Datlow in Best Horror of the Year Vol. 2.

So, Goodfellow Month is a great time to check out a brilliant writer and cop some free Bizarro swag!

Best wishes,


p.s. New JRJ fiction dropping shortly. Just waiting to sign some contracts.

If interested, get a book at: Swallowdown Press website

COMING SOON: The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment +2

Posted in Bizarro Books, Uncategorized on May 4, 2010 by carltonmellick

If anyone out there is reading this, I need your help. I am trapped within a really terrible Dungeons and Dragons campaign and I can’t find my way out. My player is a horny 14 year old loser who won’t stop forcing me to have sex with slutty elf chicks instead of going on quests. The dungeon master has severe attention deficit disorder and skips large sections of description when it comes to the world I live within. Please find my character sheet and bring it to a better dungeon master, preferably a benevolent one with a vivid imagination who actually knows what he’s doing. Please, I beg of you to deliver me from this nightmare, before all of my hit points run out . . .

– Polo Pipefingers, level 3 Halfling Fighter