OUT NOW: “The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart”

Posted in afterlife, Bizarro Fiction, body horror, Carlton Mellick III, demons, eraserhead press, Fiction, hell, horror, post-apocalypse on November 6, 2018 by carltonmellick

My new book, The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart, is now available. After my last couple of books, Stacking Doll and Neverday, I wanted to do something a little more on the action adventure side. Something set in the afterlife. Something that I could really sink myself into and lose myself for days at a time. It’s been a while since I’ve done a story like this, probably not since Ugly Heaven, so it was a really fun setting to explore. I hope you get a chance to check it out.

THE BOY WITH THE CHAINSAW HEART

Mark Knight wakes in the afterlife to discover that he’s been drafted into Hell’s army, forced to fight against the hordes of murderous angels attacking from the North. He finds himself to be both the pilot and the fuel of a demonic war machine known as Lynx, a living demon woman with the ability to mutate into a weaponized battle suit that reflects the unique destructive force of a man’s soul.

While piloting Lynx, Mark adapts quickly to his new life as a soldier and learns that his abilities far surpass those of a normal human recruit. His fighting skills are so great that it could even be a turning point in this war that has not progressed in over five thousand years. But Mark has no interest in winning the war for the kingdom of Hell. All he wants is to see his wife, Amy, once again. As a Christian woman who died tragically in her youth, Mark is positive that she went to Heaven after her death. And if he can fight his way past the angels to reach Heaven’s Gate, Mark believes he’ll be able to rescue Amy from a life of servitude and find a place they can live together for the rest of their post-human lives.

Set in the same universe as Mellick’s bizarro romantic comedy, I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter, The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart illustrates a darker side of the afterlife, one that neither Christian nor Atheist would wish to endure.

Now available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Neverday”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dystopian, end of the world, eraserhead press, Fiction, horror on July 3, 2018 by carltonmellick

My new book, NEVERDAY, is now available. This is one that I’ve been talking about for almost a decade now. It’s my version of the time loop trope made popular in the movie “Groundhog Day” but instead of focusing only on a single character this story explores what would happen to society if everyone in the world was trapped in the time loop together, with no chance of ever escaping. Next to my last book, Stacking Doll, this is one of my favorite books I’ve written in recent years. I hope you check it out.

NEVERDAY

Karl Lybeck has been repeating the same day over and over again, in a constant loop, for what feels like a thousand years. He’s been stuck in this endless cycle for so long that he doesn’t remember what his life was like before time stopped moving forward. He doesn’t remember his parents’ faces or what he used to do for a living. The only reason he remembers his own name is because it’s printed on his Oregon State driver’s license.

When a woman named January enters his life, Karl learns that he isn’t the only one trapped in the time loop. In fact, the majority of the population has been repeating the same day just as he has been for hundreds of years. While Karl was hiding isolated in his suburban home, a whole new world was being built just outside his door. Society has adapted to repeating. Strange laws have been implemented. A new memory-based currency has been put into place.

But there’s something not quite right about the new repeating government. Karl doesn’t understand why those in charge have no interest in trying to fix their situation. He doesn’t doesn’t understand why going into the neverday–that time period that only exists if you stay awake all night to avoid repetition–is considered the worst possible crime that anyone can commit. With the help of others who share in his suspicions, Karl plans to find out exactly what is being hidden from them, even if it destroys the very fabric of their society forever.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Stacking Doll”

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, body horror, eraserhead press, Fiction, surrealism, urban fairy tales on March 12, 2018 by carltonmellick

STACKING DOLL

Stacking Doll is the story of Benjamin Hammond, a young man who is in love with a Russian nesting doll. But in this world, nesting dolls are not just antique wooden toys. They are a race of people known as Matryoshkans, a subspecies of human who are born with a very peculiar abnormality—they have a collection of smaller people living inside of them.

Benjamin never thought he’d ever fall in love with anyone, let alone a Matryoshkan, but from the moment he met Ynaria he knew she was the only one for him. Although relationships between humans and Matryoshkans are practically unheard of, the two are determined to get married despite objections from their friends and family. After meeting Ynaria’s strict conservative parents, it becomes clear to Benjamin that the only way they will approve of their union is if they undergo The Trial—a matryoshkan wedding tradition where couples lock themselves in a house for several days in order to introduce each other to all of the people living inside of them.

No human has ever gone through The Trial before, so Benjamin has no idea what’s in store for him. He assumes that he’ll love each of Ynaria’s inner selves just as much as he loves her, but as she peels off her layers he realizes that each one is more neurotic and difficult to deal with than the last. And if they’re ever going to be together, Benjamin must fall in love with each and every one of his fiancé’s inner personalities, no matter how strange or disturbing they turn out to be.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: Parasite Milk

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, body horror on October 17, 2017 by carltonmellick

My new novella, Parasite Milk, is now available.

PARASITE MILK

Irving Rice has just arrived on the planet Kynaria to film an episode of the popular Travel Channel television series Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern: Intergalactic Edition. Having never left his home state, let alone his home planet, Irving is hit with a severe case of culture shock. He’s not prepared for Kynaria’s mushroom cities, fungus-like citizens, or the giant insect wildlife. And the only human companion he has with him on the voyage is an obnoxious, sex-crazed producer named Mick Meyers, who seems more focused on alien sex tourism than scouting locations for the show.

Irving is taken on a crash course in Kynarian culture, tasting the strange local delicacies to getting drunk off the horrific local brews, until they find themselves ending the night at an alien brothel in the mushroom forests outside of town. Irving is completely resistant to the idea of sleeping with a non-human prostitute until he meets the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen in his life—a nymph-like woman with pink and purple skin, blue plant-like hair, and flowers growing from her head like butterfly antennae. But after a night of passionate lovemaking, Irving finds himself infected by dangerous sexually-transmitted parasites that turn his otherworldly business trip into an agonizing fight for survival.

Now available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: The Big Meat

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, body horror, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, kaiju on July 11, 2017 by carltonmellick

My newest book, The Big Meat, is now available. This is my tribute to the kaiju genre. I hope you check it out.


THE BIG MEAT

The creature was finally dead. After months of fighting it, trying desperately to stop it as it rampaged across the American countryside, turning city after city into a landscape of rubble, we finally managed to beat the damned thing. We actually saved the human species. We survived.

But the corpse still lingers.

In the center of the city once known as Portland, Oregon, there lies a mountain of flesh. Hundreds of thousands of tons of rotting flesh. It has filled the city with disease and dead-lizard stench, contaminated the water supply with its greasy putrid fluids, clogged the air with toxic gasses so thick that you can’t leave your house without the aid of a gas mask. And no one really knows quite what to do about it. A thousand-man demolition crew has been trying to clear it out one piece at a time, but after three months of work they’ve barely made a dent. And then there’s the junkies who have started burrowing into the monster’s guts, searching for a drug produced by its fire glands, setting back the excavation even longer.

It seems like the corpse will never go away. And with the quarantine still in place, we’re not even allowed to leave. We’re stuck in this disgusting rotten hell forever.

The Big Meat is a gut-wrenching, nerve-squirming survival story of loss, addiction, and claustrophobia.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Spider Bunny”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, surrealism, Uncategorized, urban fairy tales on April 3, 2017 by carltonmellick

My new book, SPIDER BUNNY, is now available. This one is a tribute to the unintentionally terrifying children’s commercials of the ‘70s and ‘80s. I hope you check it out.

Spider Bunny

SPIDER BUNNY

Only Petey remembers the Fruit Fun cereal commercials of the 1980s. He remembers how warped and disturbing they were. He remembers the lumpy-shaped cartoon children sitting around a breakfast table, eating puffy pink cereal brought to them by the distortedly animated mascot, Berry Bunny. The characters were creepier than the Sesame Street Humpty Dumpty, freakier than Mr. Noseybonk from the old BBC show Jigsaw. They used to give him nightmares as a child. Nightmares where Berry Bunny would reach out of the television and grab him, pulling him into her cereal bowl to be eaten by the demented cartoon children.

When Petey brings up Fruit Fun to his friends, none of them have any idea what he’s talking about. They’ve never heard of the cereal or seen the commercials before. And they’re not the only ones. Nobody has ever heard of it. There’s not even any information about Fruit Fun on google or wikipedia. At first, Petey thinks he’s going crazy. He wonders if all of those commercials were real or just false memories. But then he starts seeing them again. Berry Bunny appears on his television, promoting Fruit Fun cereal in her squeaky unsettling voice. And the next thing Petey knows, he and his friends are sucked into the cereal commercial and forced to survive in a surreal world populated by cartoon characters made flesh.

Get it at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Exercise Bike”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, body horror, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy on January 16, 2017 by carltonmellick

My new book “Exercise Bike” is now available.

Exercise Bike

EXERCISE BIKE

There is something wrong with Tori Manetti’s new exercise bike. It is made from flesh and bone. It eats and breathes and poops. It was once a billionaire named Darren Oscarson who underwent years of cosmetic surgery to be transformed into a human exercise bike so that he could live out his deepest sexual fantasy. Now Tori is forced to ride him, use him as a normal piece of exercise equipment, no matter how grotesque his appearance.

Set in a health food dystopia, “Exerice Bike” is an absurd horror tale of domination and submission, power and obedience, desire and desperation.

Get it at amazon.com