CM3 Library FAQs

Posted in Signed limited editions with tags , , , , , , on March 24, 2026 by carltonmellick

Hi everyone!

If you are ordering books from the CM3 Library, please read through these FAQs so you know what to expect. If you have any questions not answered here please send them to me via the email address provided below.

Why did you start the CM3 Library?

I started the CM3 Library as a way for fans to get autographed collector’s editions of my books since I have never been able to sell signed copies in the past. However, this is all just an experiment. I have no idea if there will be enough interest in this series to keep it going and I definitely don’t have enough time in my schedule to run an entire online business. I’ve tried to streamline the process to make it easier, but don’t expect this to be a professional online store. I’m just one person and that person is slow, lazy, and overwhelmed with other projects. So please be patient with me.

Will all of your books eventually be released through the CM3 Library?

I plan to continue the series for as long as there’s enough interest and as long as I have the time to keep it up. I plan to release at least all of the fan favorites.

How long will it take me to get books I order?

Books are shipped only once per month via media mail, so it could take up to 2 months to receive an order.

Can I place a bulk order of your books to save on shipping?

Yes, I most likely will send bulk orders with a shipping discount when ordering 4 or more titles. Contact me with the titles you want and I’ll send you a quote.

Can I get my books personalized?

Send me a message if you’d like to request anything to be inscribed in the books.

Will I get a tracking number?

Unfortunately, I can’t send out tracking numbers at this time. I will send them by request if there’s an important reason you need to know, but manually typing tracking numbers for every order would make this series too work-intensive for me to continue.

Do I have to resubscribe each year?

No, your subscription auto-renews each year unless cancelled. Make sure not to double subscribe.

Do you issue refunds for orders or subscriptions?

I offer partial refunds for books (minus the paypal fee) if requested within 48 hours. If you accidentally double subscribe contact me and I’ll see what I can do. As long as the first book of the year hasn’t been sent, it should be fine.

My book arrived damaged. What do I do?

Email me a picture of the damaged book and I’ll replace it as soon as I can.

Do you put author notes or comics in your hardcovers like you do in your paperbacks?

No, I prefer to keep these books classy and my comics/author notes are the far from it.

Can I illustrate one of your hardcovers?

Many of these books are filled with fan art illustrations. If you are an artist and would like to illustrate one of my books send some samples to my email address listed below. Payment is a free copy of the book and extra copies at a discount.

Do you commission cover art?

Yes! I am always looking for new artists for my covers. Payment is $500-$1000 USD. Contact me with a sample of your art at the email below.

Do you use AI to create your cover art?

No, I pay artists and commission the artwork. I find AI-generated covers to be tacky and unprofessional.

How can I contact you?

My email is cm3library@eraserheadpress.com. I am often slow to respond, if you don’t hear back within 1-2 weeks your message likely went to spam. Feel free to try again or PM me on facebook.

QUICKSAND HOUSE – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, surrealism with tags , , , , , on December 1, 2025 by carltonmellick

QUICKSAND HOUSE

Two children leave the safety of their automated nursery to explore a vast, dreamlike mansion in hopes of finally meeting their parents for the first time in Carlton Mellick III’s most critically acclaimed novel to date.


COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

INTERIOR ART BY LAIA BALDEVEY


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

366 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN NOVEMBER 2025

$80 plus shipping


USA ORDER

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CLOWNFELLAS – Signed Limited edition Hardcover

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Limited edition hardcovers with tags , , , , on August 19, 2025 by carltonmellick

CLOWNFELLAS: TALES OF THE BINZO FAMILY

In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Binzo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you.

For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Binzo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Binzos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Binzos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing.


COVER ART BY RICCARDO LA BELLA AND ADA PICCOLO

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RICCARDO LA BELLA


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

568 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN AUGUST 2025

$120 plus shipping


USA PREORDER

INTERNATIONAL PREORDER


SAUSAGEY SANTA – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Limited edition hardcovers with tags , , , , on August 19, 2025 by carltonmellick

SAUSAGEY SANTA

The Fry Family must help a mutated Santa Claus save Christmas from an evil menace known as Frosty the Neo-Nazi Snowman in this 2006 Bizarro Christmas Comedy Classic.


COVER ART BY TIN BUI

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEY BARR


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

172 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN APRIL 2025

$60 plus shipping


USA ORDER

INTERNATIONAL ORDER


OUT NOW: “Scorpion Ranch”

Posted in Bizarro Books with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2025 by carltonmellick

My 69th book, SCORPION RANCH, is now available at amazon.

SCORPION RANCH

Daniel Munch is in a toxic relationship, but not just because his girlfriend is selfish and manipulative. She is also literally toxic-born with glands in her mouth and genitals that spew deadly poison. Every time they kiss or make love, he puts his life at risk. She could kill him at any moment and he has no choice but to trust that she would never do anything to cause him harm.

But when they decide to get married, Daniel is pressured into doing the switch-a procedure where couples swap bodies in order to better understand each other. For one month, he will become her girlfriend while she will become his boyfriend. It’s only for one month, so what would be the harm in giving it a shot? Surely it wouldn’t utterly destroy each and every aspect of his entire life…

Now available at amazon.com

ELECTRIC JESUS CORPSE – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

Posted in CM3 Library with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2024 by carltonmellick

ELECTRIC JESUS CORPSE

Available for the first time in over a decade, Carlton Mellick III’s Electric Jesus Corpse returns to print one final time in this collectors edition hardcover, limited to only 500 copies. Written in 1995 when he was seventeen years old, Mellick’s earliest and most experimental novel follows Jesus Christ’s twelve apostles as they struggle to survive in a surreal dystopian version of our modern day world during the zombie apocalypse. This book is a prime example of Mellick’s proto-bizarro writing before the success of his first novel, Satan Burger. Although much rougher and more unrefined than his later works, Electric Jesus Corpse shows where the author came from as a writer in his youth. Featuring 12 illustrations the author did for the book while he was still in high school.

For completionists and hardcore fans only.

This is the last time this book will ever see print.

WARNING: This book was written by a teenager in the 1990s who was trying to be as edgy and offensive as possible. Read at your own risk.


COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY CARLTON MELLICK III


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

602 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN DECEMBER 2024

$120 plus shipping


USA ORDER

INTERNATIONAL ORDER


If you do not use paypal, you can also preorder books through The CM3 Library Square Store.


NOTE: Books are shipped once per month via media mail, so it can take up to two months to receive an order.


SWEET STORY – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

Posted in CM3 Library, Limited edition hardcovers, signed editions with tags , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2024 by carltonmellick

SWEET STORY

Sally is an odd little girl. It’s not because she dresses as if she’s from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It’s because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her–leprechauns will shower her with gold and fairies will grant her every wish. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow one day, and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes that it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth.

Sweet Story is a children’s book gone horribly wrong. What starts as a cute, charming tale of rainbows and wishes soon becomes a vicious, unrelenting tale of survival in an inhospitable world full of cannibals and rapists.

The Sweet Story hardcover is sold in two cover variations.

COVER #1

COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEY BARR


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

200 PAGES

LIMITED TO 250 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN SEPTEMBER 2024

$60 plus shipping


USA PREORDER

INTERNATIONAL PREORDER

COVER #2

COVER ART BY EMMANUEL OMENDA JR.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEY BARR


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

200 PAGES

LIMITED TO 250 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN SEPTEMBER 2024

$60 plus shipping


USA PREORDER

INTERNATIONAL PREORDER

THE ULTRA FUCKERS – Signed Limited Edition Hardcover

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, collector's hardcovers, eraserhead press, Signed limited editions, surrealism with tags , , , , on August 5, 2024 by carltonmellick

THE ULTRA FUCKERS

Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife’s company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwest-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don’t seem to make any sense.

After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can’t seem to find his way out.


COVER ART BY EMMANUEL OMENDA JR.

CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

132 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN AUGUST 2024

$50 plus shipping


USA ORDER

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OUT NOW: “Apeship”

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, extreme horror with tags , , , on April 23, 2024 by carltonmellick


My latest novel, APESHIP, is now available at amazon. This book is a follow up to my books APESHIT and CLUSTERFUCK, and is another splatterpunk satire for people with a gruesome sense of humor, but is a stand alone story and all three books can be read out of order.


APESHIP


An intolerable prick takes his weird daughter, his college-aged girlfriend, her douchey brother and her awkward best friend on a boating trip to show off his new yacht. But when they come across an abandoned cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, they find themselves hunted by a group of sadistic mutant killers hell-bent on keeping them as their immortal playthings for all eternity.


Now available at amazon.com

CANNIBALS OF CANDYLAND – Limited Edition Hardcover

Posted in Bizarro Fiction with tags , , , , , , on April 2, 2024 by carltonmellick

THE CANNIBALS OF CANDYLAND

There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip them apart with razor sharp teeth and claws.

When he was a child, Franklin Pierce witnessed the death of his siblings at the hands of a candy woman with pink cotton candy hair. Since that day, the candy people have become his obsession. He has spent his entire life trying to prove that they exist. And after discovering the entrance to the underground world of the candy people, Franklin finds himself venturing into their sugary domain. His mission: capture one of them and bring it back, dead or alive.


COVER ART BY CORO COFEROSA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ZIGENDEMONIC


CASE LAMINATE HARDCOVER

240 PAGES

LIMITED TO 500 COPIES

SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR

RELEASED IN JUNE 2024

$60 plus shipping


USA ORDER


INTERNATIONAL ORDER