Archive for April, 2010

Special Bizarro Issue of The Pedestal Magazine

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Fiction, Publishing, Uncategorized, Writing Related on April 22, 2010 by carltonmellick

The masterful bizarro author D. Harlan Wilson will be editing a bizarro issue of The Pedestal Magazine. Here are the submission guidelines:

The Pedestal Magazine invites submissions for a special issue of Bizarro fiction to be edited by D. Harlan Wilson. Flash fiction between 250-1000 words will be considered. Loosely speaking, “Bizarro” is an umbrella term encompassing different kinds of weird, absurd, horrific, uncanny, and/or grotesque speculative fiction. Literary and experimental forms are strongly encouraged. Do not submit work that is simply weird for weird’s sake; also avoid toilet humor and boyish antics. We are looking for purposeful Bizarro that is dynamically written and thought-provoking. Payment for accepted stories will be $.08 per word. No reprints. Submission period will run from April 28-June 14. All submissions will be received via the submission form provided on The Pedestal Magazine website:

Fantasy Magazine Interviews Eraserhead Press

Posted in Bizarro Fiction on April 22, 2010 by carltonmellick


Rose O’Keefe, publisher of Eraserhead Press, was just interviewed in Fantasy Magazine. She discusses bizarro fiction, what it’s all about and how it came to be.

Read it here:

BIZARRO FICTION 101: Not Just Weird for Weird’s sake

If you like spaghetti westerns and bizarro fiction, you need to read this book

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books, Publishing on April 16, 2010 by carltonmellick

fistful of feet

Jordan Krall is a bizarro author who happens to be obsessed with the spaghetti western genre of film. When Eraserhead Press asked him to write a bizarro novel with a spaghetti western theme he jumped all over that. His work has always been crazy and one of a kind, but Fistful of feet is something special. I think it’s because his passion for spaghetti westerns really comes through in this book. People have said that it is not only one of the best weird westerns out there, but also one of the best bizarro books of last year (or perhaps even all time).

You owe it to yourself to check out this book. Here are some reasons why: Cthulhu-worshipping Indians, a woman with four feet, a Giallo-esque serial killer, a crazed gunman who is obsessed with sucking on candy, Syphilis-ridden mutants, ass juice, burping pistols, sexually transmitted tattoos, and a house devoted to the freakiest fetishes.

Check it out on

Submission Call for “Christmas on Crack”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Fiction, Publishing, Writing Related on April 15, 2010 by carltonmellick

I’m looking for stories for an upcoming bizarro Christmas-themed anthology called “Christmas on Crack.”

What I’m looking for: very weird children’s Christmas stories for adults. I’m especially looking for fucked up versions of classic Christmas stories like Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Twas the Night Before Christmas, a Christmas Carol, etc, but something completely original would also be welcome. I want these stories to be funny, imaginative, surreal, trashy, clever, and not at all appropriate for children. Think of Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas meets Lloyd Kaufman’s Poultrygeist. The weirder the better, the trashier the better, the funnier the better. Surprise me.

Note: I would prefer if the stories were told in a narrative style similar to that of a children’s story. Think of The Faggiest Vampire meets Sausagey Santa. That’s the kind of thing I want to see, but better. But a good story is a good story no matter what style it’s written in.

Length: I’d like stories that are 3,000-12,000 words long.

How to submit: I actually don’t want you to write anything until after you contact me. Pitch me an idea for your story first. That way if I’m not interested then you don’t have to go through the trouble of writing it. I am only going to respond to story ideas that interest me, so if you never hear back from me it probably means that I think your story ideas are completely lame and you shouldn’t have even bothered to try. Well, either that or other pitches better caught my attention.

Send an idea (or three) for a bizarro Christmas story you’d like to write for me to:

Deadline: I will be taking pitches until May 15th 2010 or sooner if I find enough ideas that I like.

BizarroCon – November 11-14

Posted in Bizarro Events on April 14, 2010 by carltonmellick

The dates for BizarroCon have finally been announced. It will be held at Edgefield Manor in Oregon during veterens day weekend. More information coming soon.

Honorable Mention

Posted in Fiction on April 12, 2010 by carltonmellick

My story “Lemon Knives ‘n’ Cockroaches” published in Zombies: Encounters of the Hungry Dead got an honorable mention in Ellen Datlow’s Best Horror of the Year.

If you haven’t read this anthology I recommend it.


Review of “Razor Wire Pubic Hair”

Posted in Bizarro Books on April 6, 2010 by carltonmellick

It’s pretty strange, but there seems to be a renewed interest in my book Razor Wire Pubic Hair. For a couple years, from 2003-2005, Razor Wire was a bestselling book that got a lot of attention. Of all my other books, only Satan Burger was ever as successful. Then for about 4 or 5 years people stopped buying it. My newer books sold much better and everyone had forgotten about this book. But as of late it’s again become one of my bestsellers. I’m not sure why.

Razor Wire is one that I rarely recommend to people. It’s more about style and theme than character or plotting and would normally appeal less to bizarro readers and more to experimental literary readers if it weren’t for all the sex and violence. It’s also my most minimalistic yet least accessible book out there. Because of this and because it’s so much different from my other work, I rarely recommend it. But, even though it is far from my best work, it still holds a special place in my heart. It is the only book that feels perfectly solid to me. The only book where I wouldn’t change a thing if I had to write it all over again.

Anyway, I found this review of the book on Pod People today, and wanted to share it:

Reviewed by: Emily Veinglory

In a post-Apocalyptic style future a hermaphroditic living sex-toy is purchased by a warrior woman to sire a child. They live in an isolated house with a mutant warrior woman called Sister whose body is covered in vaginas. The surrounding land is populated by perverse creatures, hungry zombies and a gang of violent rapists is approaching threatening to wipe out the entire household. And other that our sex-doll protagonists, all of these characters are women, because in this world men are extinct.

Razor Wire Public Hair is a book that is predominantly about sex, but it is not erotica. It is very surreal, but has a linear plot and characters with clear motivations and relationships. It explored violent sexual acts but is not gratuitous. Even on of the central rather nihilistic ideas (that the only point of life is sex) are not particularly depressing given the sincere love that the sex doll has for his/it’s owner/lover.

This is, in brief, a bizarre but eminently readable short novel. I sat down and read it on one evening, the short scenes, direct language, easy-reading format and even the lack of page numbers seem to propel the reader through the book. The only banal things about it is the cover–which could not conceivably be said to represent any character in the book and belongs in a world of sexually available cyber-barbies that is almost diametrically opposed to this story full of aggressively modified, tattooed and armored self-obsessed sadistic amazons and devouring monster vaginas with eyes.

Do not read this book if you are offended by (or actively disinterested in) fiction containing graphic language, sacrilegious acts, torture, promiscuity, murder or thoughtful perversity in any of its forms.

Rating: 8/10