Archive for January, 2011

“Crab Town” out now

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction on January 31, 2011 by carltonmellick

crab town

My new novella is now available. Check it out.


Five desperate criminals are robbing one of the last remaining banks in Freedom City, a town devastated by the previous nuclear war. But these are no ordinary criminals. They are members of the House of Cards, an organization designed to help the less fortunate citizens of the city. In a place where the poor are separated from the rich, jobs are as scarce as clean water, and even the doctors are as corrupt as the politicians, the House of Cards are a final beacon of hope in an otherwise hopeless world.

Featuring: radiation fetishists, balloon people, mutant crabs, sail-bike road warriors, and a love affair between a woman and an H-Bomb. This is one mean asshole of a city.

Welcome to Crab Town.

Get it at:

Austin Post article on CM3

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Fiction on January 28, 2011 by carltonmellick

The Austin Post did an article on me today. Check it out:

Way Beyond Bizarre: The Genius of Carlton Mellick III

Top 20 Eraserhead/Deadite Books of 2010

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction on January 26, 2011 by carltonmellick

The following is a list of the 2010 top 20 bestsellers from Easerhead Press and all of its imprints:

1. Help! A Bear Is Eating Me by Mykle Hansen

2. Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere by Mykle Hansen

3. Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III

4. Brain Cheese Buffet by Edward Lee

5. The Faggiest Vampire by Carlton Mellick III

6. The Baby Jesus Butt Plug by Carlton Mellick III

7. Bullet Through Your Face by Edward Lee

8. The Cannibals of Candyland by Carlton Mellick III

9. The Innswich Horror by Edward Lee

10. Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk

11. Apeshit by Carlton Mellick III

12. The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment +2 by Carlton Mellick III

13. Angel Dust Apocalypse by Jeremy Robert Johnson

14. The Haunter of the Threshold by Edward Lee

15. Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce

16. Adolf in Wonderland by Carlton Mellick III

17. The Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange)

18. Razor Wire Pubic Hair by Carlton Mellick III

19. Trolley No. 1852 by Edward Lee

20. Foop! by Chris Genoa

Brian Keene & J. F. Gonzalez sign with Deadite Press

Posted in Bizarro Books, Fiction, horror, Publishing on January 26, 2011 by carltonmellick

urban gothicclickersclickers2

If you haven’t heard the news on Monday, hardcore horror writers Brian Keene and J. F. Gonzalez have signed with Eraserhead Press’s cult horror imprint Deadite Press. The press will be re-releasing multiple books by these authors, starting with Urban Gothic by Brian Keene and the first two books of the Clickers series by J. F. Gonzales, Mark Williams, and Brian Keene.

Keene is not only one of the coolest fucking writers out there in horror, he has also been one of the biggest supporters of my work and bizarro fiction in general for the past decade, so I’m really excited to see him working with Deadite Press. As many of you know, I design all the covers for Deadite (including the ones pictured above) and with these upcoming releases I hope to give these writers the badass presentation their work rightly deserves.

For more information, go to Brian Keene’s blog at:

For more information on this year’s Deadite Press releases, go here:

In 2011, Deadite Press is going to kick some serious ass.

New Message Board

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books, horror on January 21, 2011 by carltonmellick

I’ve got a new message board at the Keenedom.

Stop by and say hi.

Coming in 2011

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books on January 19, 2011 by carltonmellick

This year I’ve got quite a few new books coming out, as well as many re-issues of older books.

    Coming in Winter/Spring 2011:

This is a first of many older books to be re-issued with new cover art, as well as some minor editing work.


A bizarro bank heist novella.


My second short story collection, finally coming out after a decade. The title novella is about a cyberpunk ninja that is 700 pounds of pure badassery.


A collection of three novellas that take place before, after, and during the events of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

    In the works:

A bizarro retelling of Seven Samurai, in outer space.

A pregnant demon arrives at the door of a young man’s house. It turns out that she is a succubus who visited him in his sleep nine months ago. She says he’s the father of her child and wants to move in with him, get married, and raise the kid together. The problem is, he is already in love with another woman and has no intention of marrying this demon. But once her father, Satan himself, comes into the picture he realizes it’s not going to be so easy to get out of his responsibilities. Basically, this book will be kind of a fucked up version of a romantic comedy.

Captain Explode-O wants more than anything to be the greatest superhero on Earth. Unfortunately, his super power is the ability to make babies explode. Captain Explode-O tries to use his powers for good, but once he explodes three babies in order to prevent a convenience store robbery he inadvertently becomes the nation’s most hated super villain. Depressed and riddled with guilt, he vows never to use his powers ever again…but he might not have a choice once The Super Evils — the most evil league of super villains this side of the planet — try to recruit him as their new leader.

There might be more books coming out in 2011, but we’ll have to wait and see. Sometimes I’ll drop everything to write something new.

Coming Soon: “Crab Town”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction on January 18, 2011 by carltonmellick

Next month, my new novella “Crab Town” will be released. This is my first 100-page novella to be published since Ultra Fuckers. Basically it is a bizarro bank heist story set in a dystopian post-nuke city. Featuring: radiation fetishists, balloon people, monster crabs, sail-bike road warriors, and a love affair between a woman and an H-Bomb.

Cover for the WAR SLUT re-release

Posted in Bizarro Books on January 17, 2011 by carltonmellick

Cover art for “Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction on January 5, 2011 by carltonmellick

Here’s the artwork for my upcoming book. It will contain three interconnected prequels and sequels to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland. Each one will focus around a different small background character from Warrior Wolf Women: Apple, Hyena, and the Hamburglar. The book should be out in the spring.

Brian Keene votes “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland” one of the best books of 2010

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, horror on January 3, 2011 by carltonmellick

warrior wolf women

On his blog today, bestselling horror writer Brian Keene, mentions my book Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland as one of his top ten reads of 2010.

This is what he has to say:

…this is one of Mellick’s best — and most accessible — works to date. In a post-apocalyptic future where people live in a socialist mega-city run by the McDonald’s Corporation, those who disobey are cast out into the wastelands, where they fall prey to marauding gangs of female werewolves. And with that wacky Bizarro premise, Mellick begins a fascinating and humorous examination of sexual politics and awakenings, consumption mindset, capitalism, gender separation, and dehumanization. The best Bizarro fiction always does this — examines social, political, and religious issues through a very cracked and surreal lens, but Mellick remains the top practitioner, and very rightfully so. If you still don’t understand what the Bizarro genre is about, or want to try reading it and aren’t sure where to begin, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is a great starting point.

For the rest of his top ten list, go here: