Archive for September, 2011

Out Now: “I KNOCKED UP SATAN’S DAUGHTER” – a demonic romantic comedy

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on September 19, 2011 by carltonmellick

I KNOCKED UP SATAN’S DAUGHTER: A DEMONIC ROMANTIC COMEDY

Jonathan Vandervoo lives a carefree life in a house made of legos, spending his days building lego sculptures and his nights getting drunk with his only friend-an alcoholic sumo wrestler named Shoji. It’s a pleasant life with no responsibility, until the day he meets Lici. She’s a soul-sucking demon from hell with red skin, glowing eyes, a forked tongue, and pointy red devil horns… and she happens to be nine months pregnant with Jonathan’s baby.

Now Jonathan must do the right thing and marry the succubus or else her demonic family is going to rip his heart out through his ribcage and force him to endure the worst torture hell has to offer for the rest of eternity. But can Jonathan really love a fire-breathing, frog-eating, cold-blooded demoness? Or would eternal damnation be preferable? Either way, the big day is approaching. And once Jonathan’s conservative Christian family learns their son is about to marry a spawn of Satan, it’s going to be all-out war between demons and humans, with Jonathan and his hell-born bride caught in the middle.

I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter is an adorable, violent, fantastical love story. A romantic comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.

Available at amazon.com

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OUT NOW: “Fantastic Orgy”

Posted in Uncategorized on September 13, 2011 by carltonmellick

My first story collection in ten years, Fantastic Orgy, is finally available. This one features one novella and four longish short stories.


FANTASTIC ORGY

Shark Sex, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases.

Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There’s an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that causes your toes to grow larger, one causes you to grow extra breasts on your body, another causes your skin to grow long metal spikes, and there’s an especially annoying STD that causes you to ejaculate miniature eyeballs.

Tonight is Share Your STD Night at the Demon Seed Swingers Club. Although most members of society fear the idea of contracting these diseases, there are some underground deviants who embrace them. They believe the diseases make them strange, unique, and beautiful. So they come together once a month to trade their wonderful STDs with each other in a surreal, fantastical orgy. However, tonight will not be like other nights. There’s a new disease spreading through the sex club, a disease that causes people to become rabid bloodthirsty killing machines. As the infected rampage through the Demon Seed, the survivors realize there’s only one thing they can do to survive the night: turn their grotesque STDs into deadly super weapons.

Also featuring the short stories:

“Candy-Coated” – A buff dude with a lollipop for a head has a hard time picking up the laydaaays due to all of the bearded truckers who keep trying to lick his head.

“Ear Cat” – A Kitty of the Month Club selection gone horribly wrong.

“City Hobgoblins” – A member of a punk rock band falls in love with a shark-like creature. (a prequel to the cult novel Satan Burger)

“Porno in August” – A group of porn actors find themselves floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to remember who they are or why they are there. (Chosen for The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror)

Now available at amazon.com

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