surrealism | Carlton Mellick III

Archive for the surrealism Category

Works in Progress

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, post-apocalypse, surrealism on November 21, 2012 by carltonmellick

Kill Ball was the last book of mine to be released this year, but I’ll have a new book called “Cuddly Holocaust” coming out the first week of January. More info on that one next week.

Here is a list of books I am currently working on. I have no idea when they will be finished or released, but I thought you might be interested in what I’ve been working on.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Cuddly Holocaust – final draft stages
Hammer Wives – my next collection. Just need to finish the title story.
As She Stabbed Him Gently in the Face – bizarro serial killer story
Village of the Mermaids – a story about vampire mermaids and human livestock.
Pippi of the Apocalypse – the third book in the wolf women series.
Wonka – retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in apocalyptic Beyond Thunderdome setting.
Quicksand House – quiet bizarro
Seven Cyborgs – bizarro sci-fi retelling of 7 Samurai
The Super Evils – bizarro superhero story
Clusterfuck – a follow-up to Apeshit

Bizarro Brigade Exclusives
these won’t be for sale to the general public.

Skinhead Girls – unreleased early work very similar to Satan Burger.
The Secret Adventures of Dr. Seuss – kinky Seuss world book.

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OUT NOW: “Ugly Heaven”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, surrealism on May 24, 2012 by carltonmellick

My novella Ugly Heaven is finally back in print and is now available at amazon.com.

UGLY HEAVEN

Heaven is no longer a paradise. It was once a blissful utopia full of wonders far beyond human comprehension. But that was a long, long time ago. The afterlife is now in ruins. It has become an ugly, lonely wasteland populated by strange monstrous beasts, masturbating angels, and sad man-like beings wallowing in the remains of the once-great Kingdom of God.

As two men die and awake in Heaven, they find themselves inside of new bodies with strange alien skin. They no longer remember their previous lives. All they really know is that the afterlife is a horrible, ugly place. Desperately seeking answers, allies, and refuge, these two newcomers explore this surreal world. But what they will soon find is that Heaven has become a place not that much different from Hell.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “The Handsome Squirm”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, surrealism, Uncategorized on April 18, 2012 by carltonmellick

THE HANDSOME SQUIRM

A tale of marriage, child-rearing, and vaginas that eat people.

A man is arrested in the middle of the night. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t remember committing any crime. The cops drop him off in a small community in the middle of the woods where a wedding is about to begin. It is his wedding. He doesn’t recognize the bride, but she’s allegedly pregnant with his children. All twelve of them. And by law, he must marry her or go to prison for the next two decades.

But who is this strange woman he is to spend the rest of his life with? She doesn’t seem quite human. Her expressions are cold and emotionless. Her movements are like that of a spider. She is Usagi, a creature who feeds on her human mate during pregnancy. Now this man has to find a way to terminate the marriage if he is to survive. But it’s not going to be easy. His friends, his family, and his country are all against him. They believe a father should be willing to give up anything for the sake of his family. Even his life.

Like Franz Kafka’s The Trial meets an erotic body horror version of The Blob, this darkly absurd tale is classic Mellick.

AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM

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OUT NOW: “Sea of the Patchwork Cats” re-issue

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, end of the world, Fiction, surrealism on November 25, 2011 by carltonmellick

Sea of the Patchwork Cats

Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time . . .

Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats.

Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone.

Available at amazon.com

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Featured Titles

The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart
A Bio-Mech pilot drafted into Hell’s army must fight his way through a surreal afterlife in order to save his wife from slavery.
Dark and pulpy.

Neverday
The story of what happens to society after everyone in the world gets trapped in a never-ending time loop.
Dark and dystopian.

Stacking Doll
The story of a man who falls in love with a Russian nesting doll.
Dark and surreal.

Parasite MIlk
A travel show producer is infected with deadly sexually transmitted parasites after visiting a brothel on an alien planet.
Body horror science-fiction comedy.

The Big Meat
A kaiju tribute novel that explores the surreal aftermath of a giant monster attack.
Dark and gritty.

Spider Bunny
A group of college kids get trapped inside a deranged children’s cereal commercial from the 1980’s.
Creepy and absurd.

Exercise Bike
The story of a man who transformed himself into a human exercise bike and the woman who is forced to ride him.
Absurd body horror.

The Terrible Thing That Happens
In a post-apocalypse world, a small community of scavengers must survive by looting a grocery store that’s stuck in a time loop.
Dark and surreal.

Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes
A tale of childhood love and spontaneous face explosions.
Cute and disturbing.

Bio Melt
Within a toxic wasteland, six strangers find themselves trapped in an abandoned hotel, surrounded by a mysterious black ooze.
Dark and surreal.

ClownFellas
Six interconnected novellas revolving around the Bozo clown crime family
Surreal and Pulpy.

As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
A sociopathic killer meets an even more sociopathic victim
Dark and strange.

Sweet Story
A children’s book gone horribly wrong.
Dark humor.

The Tick People
In a city where people live like parasites on the back of a giant animal, a professional sadness-maker discovers that his soul mate is a hideous mutant.
Dark and surreal.

Hungry Bug
In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction.
Gritty and pulpy.

Clusterfuck
A bunch of douchebag frat boys get trapped in a cave with subterranean cannibal mutants and try to survive not by using their wits but by following the bro code.
Comical and violent.

Quicksand House
Two children who have never met their parents before, even though they live in the same house with them, must fight for survival once their nursery becomes uninhabitable.
Dark and Dystopian.

Village of the Mermaids
An eccentric doctor travels to an isolated village of carnivorous mermaids to investigate a new disease spreading through the herd of human livestock.
Dark and Dystopian.

Cuddly Holocaust
A tale of survival set in a world where most of the human race has been exterminated by vicious stuffed animals.
Apocalyptic and brutal.

Hammer Wives
Six novellas and short stories.

Kill Ball
A slasher thriller set in a city where everyone lives in plastic bubbles.
Dystopian and surreal.

Tumor Fruit
Seven castaways stranded on a bizarre deserted island must go to extremes in order to survive.
Surreal and disturbing.

The Handsome Squirm
It’s Franz Kafka’s The Trial meets an erotic horror version of The Blob when a man is forced by law to marry an alien woman who devours her mates.
Absurd and dystopian.

Armadillo Fists
Set in a world where people drive mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars, a female boxer with armadillo hands is on the run from deranged mobsters.
Pulpy and fun.

I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter
A parody of romantic comedies about a man who finds himself engaged to a succubus who’s pregnant with his child.
Light and satirical.

Fantastic Orgy
One novella plus four short stories.

Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
The sequel to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland.

The Morbidly Obese Ninja
A 700 pound killing machine must go against his corporate employers in order to save a terminal child.
Pulpy and fun.

Crab Town
A bizarre bank heist set in a radioactive post-nuke ghetto.
Dystopian and relevant.

Zombies and Shit
It’s Battle Royale meets Return of the Living dead in a fight to the death game of survival where twenty contestants are put against each other in the middle of the zombie wasteland.
Apocalyptic, pulpy, and epic.

The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment +2
A group of adventurers learn they are actually fictional characters trapped in the worst Dungeons & Dragons campaign of all time.

Satirical and dumb.

Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
A Wonderland Book Award-winning novel about a three-armed man who finds himself in the middle of a war between a gang of road warrior werewolves and mutants from a dystopian version of McDonaldland.

Apocalyptic, pulpy, and epic.

The Cannibals of Candyland
A man finds himself imprisoned in an under ground world populated by child-eating mutants made of candy.
Erotic and horrific.

Apeshit

A parody of cabin in the woods horror stories where the victims turn out to be far more deranged than the mutant killers who hunt them.

Campy and fucked up.

The Egg Man
It is a survival of the fittest world where humans reproduce like insects, children are the property of corporations, and having a ten-foot tall brain is a grotesque sexual fetish.
Dark, dystopian, and ugly.

Cybernetrix
A dark and bizarre parody of the movie Tron where a game world and our world bleed together into one reality.
Pulpy and awesome.

The Faggiest Vampire
A bizarro children’s book about two vampire rivals competing in a mustache contest to determine which one is the faggiest.
Cute and relevant.

The Ultra Fuckers
A landscaper and a trio of Japanese punks find themselves stranded in a suburban gated community that seems to go on forever.
Nightmarish and absurd.

Adolf in Wonderland
Nazis from an alternate world of absolute perfection go down the rabbit hole into a dark surreal world of chaos and imperfection.
Absurd and horrific.

Sausagey Santa
A bizarro Christmas story… filled with sex and violence.
Satirical and pulpy.

The Haunted Vagina
It’s difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead.
Satirical and absurd.

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"If you like satires which are highly imaginative, subversive, gory, funny as hell and completely surreal CM3 may be your literary messiah."

—Ricardo Gonzalez Del Valle

"CM3 is the most imaginative writer since Lethem and Vonnegut. Different, and absolutely thought provoking..."

—Daniel McCreary

"Carlton Mellick creates fascinating and intricate worlds out of meat, slime, sexuality, wire, and the kind of nightmares that make you laugh when you wake up."

—Jemiah Jefferson

"Brilliant writing that oozes into your skull and melts your brain like a box of a zillion crayons."

—Idiot Alien Thought Creature

"His books are from another universe."

—Cameron Pierce

"Mellick is smarter than the dumbness he tries to coat his writing in; you feel like you're reading a comic or watching MTV - but that underneath there is something deeper and smarter than the cartoonish presentation before your eyes."

—Euchrid

"Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."

—Ian David McGowen

"There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety. Yes, it's all on purpose, and you've just been had!"

—Schtinky

"Mellick has definitely joined the ranks of the bizarre literary geniuses such as Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, and Vonnegut."

—Charles Glover

"Mellick's imagination is boundless, and his writing truly shows this. His characters, plot, and writing style are original, enjoyable, and inspiring."

—Lionel Bigsby

Carlton Mellick III

OUT NOW: “The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart” November 6, 2018

My new book, The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart, is now available. After my last couple of books, Stacking Doll and Neverday, I wanted to do something a little more on the action adventure side. Something set in the afterlife. Something that I could really sink myself into and lose myself for days at a […]

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OUT NOW: “Neverday” July 4, 2018

My new book, NEVERDAY, is now available. This is one that I’ve been talking about for almost a decade now. It’s my version of the time loop trope made popular in the movie “Groundhog Day” but instead of focusing only on a single character this story explores what would happen to society if everyone in […]

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OUT NOW: “Stacking Doll” March 12, 2018

STACKING DOLL Stacking Doll is the story of Benjamin Hammond, a young man who is in love with a Russian nesting doll. But in this world, nesting dolls are not just antique wooden toys. They are a race of people known as Matryoshkans, a subspecies of human who are born with a very peculiar abnormality—they […]

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OUT NOW: Parasite Milk October 17, 2017

My new novella, Parasite Milk, is now available. PARASITE MILK Irving Rice has just arrived on the planet Kynaria to film an episode of the popular Travel Channel television series Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern: Intergalactic Edition. Having never left his home state, let alone his home planet, Irving is hit with a severe case […]

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OUT NOW: The Big Meat July 11, 2017

My newest book, The Big Meat, is now available. This is my tribute to the kaiju genre. I hope you check it out. THE BIG MEAT The creature was finally dead. After months of fighting it, trying desperately to stop it as it rampaged across the American countryside, turning city after city into a landscape […]

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OUT NOW: “Spider Bunny” April 3, 2017

My new book, SPIDER BUNNY, is now available. This one is a tribute to the unintentionally terrifying children’s commercials of the ‘70s and ‘80s. I hope you check it out. SPIDER BUNNY Only Petey remembers the Fruit Fun cereal commercials of the 1980s. He remembers how warped and disturbing they were. He remembers the lumpy-shaped […]

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OUT NOW: “Exercise Bike” January 17, 2017

My new book “Exercise Bike” is now available. EXERCISE BIKE There is something wrong with Tori Manetti’s new exercise bike. It is made from flesh and bone. It eats and breathes and poops. It was once a billionaire named Darren Oscarson who underwent years of cosmetic surgery to be transformed into a human exercise bike […]

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OUT NOW: “The Terrible Thing That Happens” October 7, 2016

My new book “The Terrible Thing That Happens” is now available. THE TERRIBLE THING THAT HAPPENS “A new spin on the post-apocalypse genre. One you won’t soon forget.” –Garrett Cook, author of A God of Hungry Walls There is a grocery store. The last grocery store in the world. It stands alone in the middle […]

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15th Anniversary of SATAN BURGER July 6, 2016

15 years ago, my first novel SATAN BURGER was published. When it came out I really didn’t expect it to do well. I wrote it for fun, just for myself, not expecting anyone would ever even read it. I mean it’s basically just about a group of 20-year-olds who get jobs working at a Satan-themed […]

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OUT NOW: “Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes” April 27, 2016

My new book, “Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes,” is now available. EVERY TIME WE MEET AT THE DAIRY QUEEN, YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FACE EXPLODES Ethan is in love with the weird girl in school. The one with the twitchy eyes and spiders in her hair. The one […]

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Carlton Mellick III

Archive for the surrealism Category

Works in Progress

OUT NOW: “Ugly Heaven”

OUT NOW: “The Handsome Squirm”

OUT NOW: “Sea of the Patchwork Cats” re-issue

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