Carlton Mellick III

Writing Marathon at Voodoo Doughnuts

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Events on November 20, 2009 by carltonmellick

Portland is known for its weird writers. It is also known for its weird doughnuts. For the next three days, these two things will collide…

PORTLAND BIZARRO AUTHOR INVADES VOODOO DOUGHNUT FOR THREE DAYS

PORTLAND, OR (November 18, 2009) This Friday, November 20th, Bizarro author Cameron Pierce will move into Voodoo Doughnut Too (1501 N.E. Davis) for three days to write Die You Doughnut Bastards! The first novella in a trilogy of food stories, Die You Doughnut Bastards! is a bizarro comedy set in a futuristic Portland where sentient Viking doughnuts overthrow human society. It will feature cameos from several doughnuts sold at Voodoo.

One month after celebrating the release of his second book, The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (Eraserhead Press, 2009), and completing his performance series Meat Magick, Pierce is diving into his most absurd and ambitious project yet.

From Friday, November 20th through Sunday, November 22nd, Pierce will be living and writing in Voodoo Doughnut Too (except when they close between 3am and 6am, then he’ll freeze). He’ll eat nothing but doughnuts during this marathon, so drop in and share a Grape Ape and coffee with him, or just sit back and witness insanity in action.

Download Free Bizarro Books

Posted in Bizarro Books on November 19, 2009 by carltonmellick

In an effort to persuade readers to buy more bizarro books for Christmas, Eraserhead Press is making five sample books available free for download between now and Thanksgiving. They include both bizarro starter kits, Super Fetus by Adam Pepper, Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce, and my own bizarro Christmas book, Sausagey Santa. If you like these then ask for more bizarro books for Christmas or buy them as presents for your friends and family. The bizarro children’s books, such as MachoPoni and The Faggiest Vampire, make especially good Christmas presents. Sausagey Santa, of course, is even better.

Here are the books available for download:

bsk1

An introduction to the bizarro genre, featuring 8 short novels and 2 short story collections by ten bizarro writers. Click here for more information.

bsk2

Featuring short novels and story collections by ten more bizarro writers. Click here for more information.

sausagey

A Troma-esque Christmas adventure, featuring Nazi snowmen, Christmas fetishists, elves who are way too obsessed with playing Dungeons and Dragons, and a Santa who is made out of sausage. Click here for more information.

super fetus

Try to abort him, and this fetus will kick your ass! Learn More and Buy Here

Forget everything you know about Auschwitz – You’re about to be Shit Slaughtered! Learn More and Buy Here

If you like one of the books, please take a few minutes to write a quick review for it on Amazon.com or Goodreads. Or post about it on your blog or favorite message board. Hell, just tell your friends about it the next time you are drinking together.

These small actions really do a lot to help out independent artists. And in this era of crushing multi-national conglomerates and economic strife, we independents can use all the help we can get.

And if you don’t like the book, at least you didn’t have to pay for it.

Download Shatnerquake for free!

Posted in Bizarro Books on November 17, 2009 by carltonmellick

From bizarro author Jeff Burk:

To you, brave pirate of the digital seas,

Thank you for devoting some of your precious internet tubing to the downloading of my first book, Shatnerquake.

You may be wondering why I am offering my book for free. It is because I am an avid downloader as well. I believe that information, art, and entertainment wants to be free.

The internet has allowed us all so many opportunities to share with each other. To resist this is to resist the future. Others may attempt to block this forward progression with lawsuits and file protection. I, instead, want to do what I can to contribute to this wonderful digital community.

So, thanks for downloading and taking an interest in my work. If you like the book, please take a few minutes to write a quick review on Amazon.com or Goodreads. Or post about it on your blog or favorite message board. Hell, just tell your friends about it the next time you are drinking together.

These small actions really do a lot to help out independent artists. And in this era of crushing multi-national conglomerates and economic strife, we independents can use all the help we can get.

And if you don’t like the book, at least you didn’t have to pay for it.

Yours in downloading,

Jeff Burk

You can download his ebook here: megaupload.com

Visit Jeff’s blog here: http://jeffburk.wordpress.com

Fan art – Ultra Fuckers Sculpture

Posted in Bizarro Artists on November 16, 2009 by carltonmellick

ultra fuckers

This is a centerpiece at The Wonderland Book Awards, created by Angie Molinar and Chrissy Horchheimer. It was based on a the cyclops girl with the goldfish mohawk from Ultra Fuckers, originally designed by Ed Mironiuk.

http://www.powells.com/blog/?p=10249

A conversation between bizarros Mykle Hansen and Andersen Prunty at Powells.com

Posted in Bizarro Authors on November 14, 2009 by carltonmellick

mykle andy

Over on the Powell’s blog, bizarro writers Andersen Prunty and Mykle Hansen have a conversation about BizarroCon, their books, writing, the Wonderland Book Award, and bears.

Go here:

Return to the Squishiest Place on Earth

BizarroCon Report

Posted in Bizarro Events on November 13, 2009 by carltonmellick

bizarrocon gang

I’ve been out of commission for a few weeks doing conventions and recovering from said conventions. I’m just now getting back in the swing of things.

BizarroCon was a blast, as always. If you happen to be somebody interested in becoming a bizarro writer you should go next year. You should go every year.

Jeff Burk wrote up a BizarroCon Report last year for the Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. This year he has written about it in his blog. To read about BizarroCon 2009, go to:

Rose Okeefe, who organizes BizarroCon, also wrote a little something about the event here: Thanks to all BizarroCon Attendees!

Bizarro Beer

Posted in Bizarro Events on October 20, 2009 by carltonmellick

I’ll be out of commission a bit longer because I have BizarroCon this weekend, and then World Fantasy Con the next. But I wanted to show you beers that will be served at this year’s BizarroCon:

bizarro beer

It will be given away at the Eraserhead Press 10 Year Anniversary party on Friday night.

OUT NOW: “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland”

Posted in Bizarro Books on October 14, 2009 by carltonmellick

Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is now available at amazon.com

Road Warrior Werewolves versus McDonaldland Mutants…post-apocalyptic fiction has never been quite like this.

They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland.

A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. It is a self-contained utopian society protected by a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall. The citizens of this city live safe, peaceful lives, completely ignorant to the savagery that takes place beyond the walls. They are content and happy, blindly following the rules of the fascist fast food corporation that acts as their government. But when Daniel Togg, a four-armed bootlegger from the dark side of town, is cast out of the walled city, he soon learns why the state of the outside world has been kept secret. The wasteland is a chaotic battleground filled with giant wolves, mutant men, and an army of furry biker women who are slowly transforming into animals. Trapped on the wrong side of a war zone, Daniel Togg makes new friends and new enemies, while uncovering the mysteries of the people living in the wasteland and how they came to be there.

Including 45 illustrations by the author, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is an epic bizarro tale of dehumanization, gender separation, consumption, and violent sexual awakenings. A fast-paced post-apocalyptic adventure in the vein of The Road Warrior, featuring a very unique werewolf mythology.

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OUT NOW: “Fistful of Feet” by Jordan Krall

Posted in Bizarro Books on October 12, 2009 by carltonmellick

Jordan Krall’s bizarro western novel is out now. Get it at: amazon.com

“”Krall has quite a flair for outrage as an art form.” – EDWARD LEE

“Jordan Krall is a can’t miss literary talent who can
show skeptics what Bizarro has to offer.” – WITHERSIN MAGAZINE

A bizarro tribute to Spaghetti westerns, HP Lovecraft, and foot fetish enthusiasts. Screwhorse, Nevada is legendary for its violent and unusual pleasures, but when a mysterious gunslinger drags a wooden donkey into the desert town, the stage is set for a bloodbath unlike anything the west has ever seen. His name is Calamaro, and he’s from New Jersey.

Featuring Cthulhu-worshipping Indians, a woman with four feet, a Giallo-esque serial killer, a crazed gunman who is obsessed with sucking on candy, Syphilis-ridden mutants, ass juice, burping pistols, sexually transmitted tattoos, and a house devoted to the freakiest fetishes, Jordan Krall’s Fistful of Feet is the weirdest western ever written.

Only five copies left of the limited edition pre-orders.

Get one here: http://www.filmynoir.com/preorderFOF.html

With the limited edition, you’ll also get:

-a limited e-book with FoF-related short stories
-a signed/numbered FoF postcard
-a hand-drawn “spaghetti” trading card (1 of 30), signed and
numbered, each unique.
-CD Soundtrack featuring classic Spaghetti Western themes
-and maybe even more….?????

All this, for only $14.99 (including S&H)

Only available for the next week or while supplies last, so get it now.