OUT NOW: Clownfellas

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 7, 2015 by carltonmellick

My new book, CLOWNFELLAS, is now available from Random House Hydra. I had a blast writing this book. I hope you check it out.



In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Bozo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you.

For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Bozo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Bozos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Bozos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing.

Praise for ClownFellas

“Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.” —Publishers Weekly

“The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.” —Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header

“Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland.

“I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown

“If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue . . . A must-read.” —This Is Horror

“Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . ClownFellas is a gem!” —The Qwillery

“A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.” —Examiner.com

“Mellick has created another amazing read . . . Highly recommended.” —Kitty Horror

OUT NOW: “As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 1, 2015 by carltonmellick

My new serial killer book, As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face, is now available. I hope you check it out.



Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It’s the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel–a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana’s soul. He makes her a deal: if she promises to never kill another person again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim.

What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it’s not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him.

As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer’s affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.

Now available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Sweet Story”

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on July 30, 2014 by carltonmellick

My new book, Sweet Story, is now available. Although it’s on the short side, it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written this year. I hope you check it out.



Sally is an odd little girl. It’s not because she dresses as if she’s from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It’s because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her–leprechauns will shower her with gold and fairies will grant her every wish. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow one day, and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes that it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth.

Sweet Story is a children’s book gone horribly wrong. What starts as a cute, charming tale of rainbows and wishes soon becomes a vicious, unrelenting tale of survival in an inhospitable world full of cannibals and rapists. The result is one of the darkest comedies you’ll read all year, told with the wit and style you’ve come to expect from a Mellick novel.

Now available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “The Tick People”

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2014 by carltonmellick

I’m happy to announce that my 44th book is now available. Unlike my last few books, this is a short quick read and somewhat similar in tone to my early bizarro novellas like Teeth and Tongue Landscape, Steel Breakfast Era or Ugly Heaven. I hope you check it out.


They call it Gloom Town, but that isn’t its real name. It is a sad city, the saddest of cities, a place so utterly depressing that even their ales are brewed with the most sorrow-filled tears. They built it on the back of a colossal mountain-sized animal, where its woeful citizens live like human fleas within the hairy, pulsing landscape. And those tasked with keeping the city in a state of constant melancholy are the Stressmen-a team of professional sadness-makers who are perpetually striving to invent new ways of causing absolute misery.

But for the Stressman known as Fernando Mendez, creating grief hasn’t been so easy as of late. His ideas aren’t effective anymore. His treatments are more likely to induce happiness than sadness. And if he wants to get back in the game, he’s going to have to relearn the true meaning of despair.

Like James and the Giant Peach combined with one of David Cronenberg’s early body horror films, The Tick People is a charming children’s fable that quickly devolves into a grotesque sexual nightmare.


OUT NOW: ”Hungry Bug”

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, Neil Gaiman, Sin City, Urban Fantasy on January 13, 2014 by carltonmellick

My latest book is now available. Hungry Bug was loosely inspired by Frank Miller’s Sin City and Neil Gaiman’s urban fantasy work. Think Pulp Fiction with wizards. It’s one of my longest books and I personally think it’s one of my best yet. I hope you check it out.



In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction. It ruins lives, tears families apart, and eats away at the fabric of society. Those who cast too much are taken from our world, never to be heard from again. They are sent to a realm known as Hell’s Bottom — a sorcerer ghetto where everyday life is a harsh struggle for survival. Porcelain dolls crawl through the alleys like rats, arcane scientists abduct people from the streets to use in their ungodly experiments, and everyone lives in fear of the aristocratic race of spider people who prey on citizens like vampires.

Told in a series of interconnected stories reminiscent of Frank Miller’s Sin City and David Lapham’s Stray Bullets, Carlton Mellick III’s Hungry Bug is an urban fairy tale that focuses on the real life problems that arise within a fantastic world of magic.

Get it at amazon.com

Horror and Shit! (On the Mind-Blowing Bizarro Nightmare Stylings of Carlton Mellick III)

Posted in dark comedy, deadite press, extreme horror, horror on January 13, 2014 by carltonmellick

John Skipp, master of horror and a huge inspiration on my writing when I was young, has just written up an article about three of my hardcore horror novels, Clusterfuck, Apeshit, and Zombies and Shit. It’s published at Fangoria — a magazine I read obsessively around the same time I was reading Skipp. My teenaged self is so jealous of me right now.

Click to read it:


Full List of CM3 Books Published in 2013

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy, David Lynch, eraserhead press, extreme horror on January 6, 2014 by carltonmellick

2013 was a good year for me. I released 3 novels (including Clusterfuck, the sequel to my cabin in the woods parody Apeshit, and new fan favorite Quicksand House), 1 novella, 1 short story collection, and five older books were reissued. A total of 10 books! I’m not sure what 2014 will bring (aside from Hungry Bug, which will be available soon), but I hope it will be even better.

Here’s the full list:

clusterfuckquicksand housemermaids


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