Archive for Bizarro Fiction

OUT NOW: “The Girl with the Barbed Wire Hair”

Posted in horror with tags , , , , , on October 19, 2022 by carltonmellick

My newest book, THE GIRL WITH THE BARBED WIRE HAIR, is now available.


There is a girl who lives in the alley behind the old, abandoned fire station. She is always covered in ash and grime, cuts and bruises on her arms and legs, the skirt of her school uniform caked in dirt and ripped into tatters. Her hair is a mess of dreadlocks the color of rusted metal, growing like vines all the way down to her ankles. She was once human, but not anymore. She’s become a feral creature with an undying thirst for blood and revenge. Everyone at school knows to stay away from her. There are rumors that anyone who crosses her path will be murdered and never heard from again, their throats torn out by the long strands of barbed wire that grow from her head like hair.

But when she meets a young boy named Yusuke, the first person to ever show her an ounce of human kindness, her desire for revenge turns to feelings of love. And she will do whatever it takes to win his heart, even if she has to rip it from his chest in order to obtain it.

Available at

OUT NOW: “SATAN BURGER” 20th Anniversary edition

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on November 30, 2021 by carltonmellick

Today marks the 20th anniversary of my first novel, Satan Burger. To celebrate, a new edition has been released with a new cover by Ed Mironuik and introduction by John Skipp.


Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a society crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn’t want them anymore.

Buy it now at

OUT NOW: Clownfellas

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 7, 2015 by carltonmellick

My new book, CLOWNFELLAS, is now available from Random House Hydra. I had a blast writing this book. I hope you check it out.



In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Bozo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you.

For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Bozo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Bozos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Bozos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing.

Praise for ClownFellas

“Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.” —Publishers Weekly

“The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.” —Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header

“Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland.

“I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown

“If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue . . . A must-read.” —This Is Horror

“Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . ClownFellas is a gem!” —The Qwillery

“A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.” —

“Mellick has created another amazing read . . . Highly recommended.” —Kitty Horror

OUT NOW: “As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 1, 2015 by carltonmellick

My new serial killer book, As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face, is now available. I hope you check it out.



Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It’s the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel–a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana’s soul. He makes her a deal: if she promises to never kill another person again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim.

What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it’s not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him.

As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer’s affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.

Now available at

New Short Story and article on me in The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction

Posted in Bizarro Books with tags , on December 4, 2009 by carltonmellick

A new story of mine, “Simple Machines,” was published in the new issue of The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. The story is about a man who discovers one day that the inside of his body is infested with dozens of miniature clones of himself, who happen to control him like a machine.

There is also a big in depth article on me and my writing career, which is by far the best article that has ever been written about me. I also wrote an essay for the regular feature “Bizarro Novels that Never Were” where I talk about my novel “The Cranky Dildo” that I wrote and lost before it could ever be published.

I highly recommend getting this issue of the magazine. It is incredibly good and definitely worth the $6.95 cover price. It also includes a great short novella by Kevin Donihe called “The Traveling Dildo Salesman” that some believe to be his finest work. It’s worth the cover price for this novella alone. Mykle Hansen’s novelette “Blimpman” is also great.

If you haven’t picked up a copy of this magazine before, start with this issue.

Here are the contents:

magazine #2


Morphia by Vincent Sakowski

She can see the future but first she must drown.

The Traveling Dildo Salesman by Kevin L. Donihe

The heartwarming tale of a man that just can’t stop selling dildos.

Fathers and Sons by D. Harlan Wilson

“I think grandpa’s alive again…”

A Better Child by Gina Ranalli
A mother whose baby is literally unraveling.

Blimpman by Mykle Hansen
Can Blimpman save Pleasanton from the menace of Dr. Dickerdunner?

Simple Machines by Carlton Mellick III

What happens when you find out who’s really at the controls in your head?


Ogner Stump by Andrew Goldfarb

What sorrow awaits Ogner Stump in this adventure?

Spacefoot and the Vamptorians by Richard Tingley

Coming soon to a theater near you! Maybe not…


The Baby Jesus and Drunken Pirates: Author Spotlight on Carlton Mellick III by Jeff Burk

A career overview and analysis of bizarro high priest Carlton Mellick III

How to Give a Rousing Reading by Tom Bradley

You have no excuse to ever be boring.

The Weird, Weird West by Jordan Krall
A guide to Spaghetti Westerns for the Bizarro-minded viewer.

Only the Strange Survive: Ten Years of Eraserhead Press by Jeff Burk

A look back on the sordid, thorny, and inspiring story of Eraserhead Press

    Regular Features

A Rant from the Editor

Happy ten year anniversary to Eraserhead Press

Bizarro Book Reviews by Jeff Burk, Cameron Pierce, and Bob Chaplin

Reviews of Cosmetica by Troy Chambers, Market Adjustment by Andersen Prunty, Asphalt Flowerhead by Forrest Armstrong, Squid Pulp Blues by Jordan Krall, Help! A Bear is Eating Me! by Mykle Hansen, Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell by Carlton Mellick III and Jeffery Thomas, Not Quite One of the Boys by Vincent W. Sakowski, The Haunted Vagina by Carlton Mellick III, Sick: An Anthology of Illness edited by John Edward Lawson

The Bizarro Books That Never Were: The Cranky Dildo by Carlton Mellick III

The lost book of Carlton Mellick III.

Cover Art by Carlton Mellick III
Interior Art by Chrissy Horchheimer
Editor-In-Chief : Jeff Burk

Get it at: