OUT NOW: “Full Metal Octopus”

My newest book, FULL METAL OCTOPUS, is now available.


Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes.

Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it’s more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona.

Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot’s size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He’s so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona’s tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival.

Available at amazon.com

3 Responses to “OUT NOW: “Full Metal Octopus””

  1. clyde77lee Says:

    Just want to say you are my favorite living author. I loved this and please do write more full metal books. (Also wtf is up with not having the rights to Clownfellas? Is OG Bozo still on your ass about using his name?)

    • carltonmellick Says:

      Thanks, Clyde. Random House owns the rights to Clownfellas because it was their idea. They contacted me to write them a clown mafia series called Clownfellas and I agreed. Even though I invented the world, the characters, and the storylines it’s still technically their property. It was a fun project though and was happy to be involved in it.

  2. brootalbrad Says:

    YES!!!! this is the best news of the year

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