My story “Lemon Knives ‘n’ Cockroaches” published in Zombies: Encounters of the Hungry Dead got an honorable mention in Ellen Datlow’s Best Horror of the Year.
If you haven’t read this anthology I recommend it.
Review of “Razor Wire Pubic Hair”
Posted in Bizarro Books on April 6, 2010 by carltonmellick
It’s pretty strange, but there seems to be a renewed interest in my book Razor Wire Pubic Hair. For a couple years, from 2003-2005, Razor Wire was a bestselling book that got a lot of attention. Of all my other books, only Satan Burger was ever as successful. Then for about 4 or 5 years people stopped buying it. My newer books sold much better and everyone had forgotten about this book. But as of late it’s again become one of my bestsellers. I’m not sure why.
Razor Wire is one that I rarely recommend to people. It’s more about style and theme than character or plotting and would normally appeal less to bizarro readers and more to experimental literary readers if it weren’t for all the sex and violence. It’s also my most minimalistic yet least accessible book out there. Because of this and because it’s so much different from my other work, I rarely recommend it. But, even though it is far from my best work, it still holds a special place in my heart. It is the only book that feels perfectly solid to me. The only book where I wouldn’t change a thing if I had to write it all over again.
Anyway, I found this review of the book on Pod People today, and wanted to share it:
Reviewed by: Emily Veinglory
In a post-Apocalyptic style future a hermaphroditic living sex-toy is purchased by a warrior woman to sire a child. They live in an isolated house with a mutant warrior woman called Sister whose body is covered in vaginas. The surrounding land is populated by perverse creatures, hungry zombies and a gang of violent rapists is approaching threatening to wipe out the entire household. And other that our sex-doll protagonists, all of these characters are women, because in this world men are extinct.
Razor Wire Public Hair is a book that is predominantly about sex, but it is not erotica. It is very surreal, but has a linear plot and characters with clear motivations and relationships. It explored violent sexual acts but is not gratuitous. Even on of the central rather nihilistic ideas (that the only point of life is sex) are not particularly depressing given the sincere love that the sex doll has for his/it’s owner/lover.
This is, in brief, a bizarre but eminently readable short novel. I sat down and read it on one evening, the short scenes, direct language, easy-reading format and even the lack of page numbers seem to propel the reader through the book. The only banal things about it is the cover–which could not conceivably be said to represent any character in the book and belongs in a world of sexually available cyber-barbies that is almost diametrically opposed to this story full of aggressively modified, tattooed and armored self-obsessed sadistic amazons and devouring monster vaginas with eyes.
Do not read this book if you are offended by (or actively disinterested in) fiction containing graphic language, sacrilegious acts, torture, promiscuity, murder or thoughtful perversity in any of its forms.
Rating: 8/10
“Sunset with a Beard” re-release now available
Posted in Bizarro Books on March 31, 2010 by carltonmellick
SUNSET WITH A BEARD
A girl who can bring any object to life with her kiss, a disease that causes people to melt into rainbow-swirling liquids, a world where people need to carry their souls around in little jars, a farmer with nails for eyes who grows a crop of human hands, a war against aliens from the afterlife, a girl who has living worlds tattooed on her arms, and a man who arrives in New York City to discover that all of the inhabitants are missing their mouths.
“Sunset with a Beard” is Carlton Mellick III’s first collection of short stories. This edition features the original 14 stories of surreal science-fiction, with five bonus stories that were cut from the original release.
Now available at amazon.com
Satan Burger fan art by Ryan Ward
Posted in art, Bizarro Artists, Bizarro Books on March 23, 2010 by carltonmellickRyan Ward did some images for my book “Satan Burger” recently. Check them out! I love fan art.
Click the image to enlarge.
A blue woman:
A scorpion fly:
Breakfast:
A shoe spider:
Coming Soon: “Sunset with a Beard” re-release
Posted in Bizarro Books on March 19, 2010 by carltonmellickThe Eraserhead release of “Sunset with a Beard” should be available by the end of the month. This version will include 5 extra stories that were cut from the original release.
THE MAGAZINE OF BIZARRO FICTION: issue #3 now available
Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction on March 19, 2010 by carltonmellickThe third issue of The Magazine of Bizarro Ficton is available now. It contains the following awesome stuff:
FICTION
Migration by James Steele
The touching story of father, son, and snowmen.
Re-Mancipator by Garrett Cook
The rampaging hordes of cannibalistic Lincolns must die!
What the Cat Dragged In by Monica J. O’Rourke
A couple, a cat, and a whole bunch of dead things.
Artists Only by Cody Goodfellow
Ass towers, trendy skin suits, and giant sea scorpions. It’s the social event of the year!
Neptune Blues by Bruce Taylor
Love and interstellar travel really aren’t that different.
POETRY
16 Poems by Kevin L. Donihe
Bunnies, bill collectors, and LSD.
COMICS
Ogner Stump by Andrew Goldfarb
What sorrow awaits Ogner Stump in this adventure?
Zombie-A-Go-Go by Richard Tingley
Coming soon to a theater near you! Maybe not…
NONFICTION
Prison Gigolos and the President: Author Spotlight on John Edward Lawson by Jeff Burk
A career overview and analysis of John Edward Lawson
Pat, the Prison and the Pants by Patrick Wensik
A gonzo bizarro tour of the Oregon State Penitentiary
The Grubby Bits: Artist Profile on Jase Daniels by Forrest Armstrong
Frequent collaborator, Forrest Armstrong, dissects the work of bizarro artist Jase Daniels
How Mary Lou Retton’s Bladder Ruined the State Fair by Patrick Wensink
Rednecks and piss at the Oregon State Fair
REGULAR FEATURES
A Rant from the Editor
Free books, yay!
Bizarro Book Reviews by Jeff Burk, Cameron Pierce, and Bob Chaplin
Reviews of Super Fetus by Adam Pepper, Archelon Ranch by Garrett Cook, Zerostrata by Andersen Prunty, The Egg Man by Carlton Mellick III, Ultra Fuckers by Carlton Mellick III, House of Houses by Kevin L. Donihe, Adolf in Wonderland by Carlton Mellick III, Vacation by Jeremy C. Shipp, Jack and Mr. Grin by Andersen Prunty, and Tangerinephant by Kevin Dole 2.
The Bizarro Books That Never Were: Skin House Calling by Cameron Pierce
The lost book of Cameron Pierce.
Cover Art by Carlton Mellick III
Interior Art by Angie Molinar
Editor-In-Chief : Jeff Burk
Rotten Little Animals review
Posted in Bizarro Books on March 19, 2010 by carltonmellickThis is a review of the new bizarro author series book “Rotten Little Animals” by Kevin Shamel, done by Christy Leigh Stewart in a Reading Rainbow parody sketch. I thought it was pretty funny so I had to post it.
New “Choose Your Own Adventure” parody: Super Giant Monster Time!
Posted in Bizarro Books on March 17, 2010 by carltonmellickIt’s finally happened! The “Choose Your Own Mind-fuck Fest” series, which was originally a fake never-actually-going-to-happen-outside-of-one-book series that parodied the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books has actually become a reality. It all started with Ocean of Lard, which I co-wrote with Kevin L. Donihe. We never intended to actually create a new series with this book, which is why the book is #17 in the series rather than #1. But now it has happened. Numbers 1-16 are to be coming out in random order, starting with #3: “Super Giant Monster Time!” by Jeff Burk. I do plan to write more books in this series, as will several other bizarro writers and possibly some horror writers. But as with all series, the continuation of this depends on the success of the most currently released book, so if you’d like to see more bizarro Choose Your Own Adventure parodies in the future then check this one out now:
Super Giant Monster Time!
(Choose Your Own Mind Fuck Fest #3)
by Jeff Burk
illustrated by Chrissy Horchheimer
Will you escape the giant monsters that are rampaging the fuck out of your city?
Aliens are invading the Earth and their ray guns turn people into violent punk rockers. At the same time, the city is being overtaken by giant monsters tougher than Godzilla and Mothra combined. You can choose to be a lone scientist trapped in a secret government lab on a remote island swarming with monstrous killer insects, a badass punk rock chick with a green mohawk caught in a bar room brawl as the city goes up in flames around her, or a desk jockey forced to endure tedious office duties while his building is being attacked by a gargantuan centipede with claws the size of sports utility vehicles. Which character will you become?
To become the scientist, turn to page 149. To become the punk chick, turn to page 11. To become the office drone, turn to page 77. But choose wisely! You might conquer a fleet of alien saucers with the help of a high-flying monster-slicing super cat or drown in a giant monster’s pool of sperm as it butt-fucks your office building.
What will happen next? That’s up to you! When the story hits a fork in the road, you get to choose which path to take. The ending will always be different depending on your decisions. Not only that, you can read
this book over and over again for a new experience every time!
Click Here to Order from Amazon
If you haven’t already, check out the original:
Warrior Wolf Women series
Posted in Bizarro Books on March 14, 2010 by carltonmellickWell, it looks like “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland” has become a series. I’m writing two prequels and two sequels for it. Three short ones and one long one. The three short ones will be collected into a single volume and released later in the year or early next year. I’ve completed one of the prequels already, “Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands” which is about Apple, Talon, and Hyena, plus some new characters. The other prequel I’m writing right now, which will be all about Samurai Hamburglar. The third novella will follow Talon, Slayer, Nova, and the rest of the warrior gang directly after the events of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland. The long sequel will be a stand alone novel, set several years after WWW and will mostly focus on Pippi and Daniel Togg. It will be called “Pippi of the Apocalypse.”
I’m really excited about writing all of these. I haven’t really been able to get the WWW world out of my head since I wrote the book and it’s been fun to return to it. Plus, I always wanted to write a trilogy.
Carlton Mellick III 