Bizarro has expanded to the German language, with Black Hard Press. The first German publisher of bizarro fiction. They will be publishing German language bizarro books and hopefully developing a German bizarro fiction scene. If you are a bizarro writer living in Germany definitely check them out.
Cover for “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland”
Posted in Bizarro Books on July 27, 2009 by carltonmellickThe book isn’t coming out until later in the year, but here’s a look at the cover. What do you think?

I consider this book my werewolf book, only it has a different werewolf mythology. Instead of temporarily turning into wolves on the full moon, these werewolves turn slightly but permanently more wolf-like every time they have sex. Set 100 years after the apocalypse, this book is like Road Warrior with werewolf girls.
Writing Marathon Finished
Posted in Bizarro Books on July 21, 2009 by carltonmellickI finally finished marathoning my book “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland” yesterday. Most of the time when I write a book I will lock myself away from the world and do nothing but write, eat, and sleep until it is finished. Well, most of the time my books are on the short side so I can finish them in 3-7 days. This book took me 20 days to complete. It is about 3-4 times longer than my usual books. It came out to be almost 80,000 words and 400 pages. The longest book I’ve written since 1999 (It might actually be longer than Satan Burger, which would make it my longest book since EJC in 1995).
This was probably the most exhausting writing experience I’ve ever gone through. Some days I could do nothing but stare at the computer screen, forcing out just a few sentences an hour. Other times I got so into it I forgot who I was or what I was doing and could get out thousands of words in a big gush. I drank dozens of energy drinks (which I never used to buy before) and smoked a ton of hazelnut tobacco.
Despite its Troma-esque title, this book is a little more serious in its approach than a lot of my books, but no more than most of my recent stuff. It’s basically like a bizarro version of Road Warrior with werewolves. I was watching a lot of anime and re-reading Vonnegut’s “Slapstick” the week before I started this book, and now that I’m going over the recently finished draft of this book I realize that those two things really rubbed off on this book. I’m not saying the book is like an anime written by Vonnegut (which would probably be pretty interesting)… its just like a book by me with a lot of influence from Vonnegut and anime.
After finishing the book, I went up to Olympia to a cocktail party at Kevin Shamel’s house. Kevin Shamel recently got his short novel “Rotten Little Animals” accepted to be published as one of the first books in the New Bizarro Author Series. Anyway, after 20 days of nonstop writing I was hardly able to hold up my martini glass or think of anything else but my book. It was a weird experience coming out of that daze.
While it was fun, I’m not doing the 20 day writing marathon anytime soon if I can avoid it. But I also probably won’t be writing any 80,000 word books unless I do.
Jeremy Shipp Now on Kindle
Posted in Bizarro Books on July 18, 2009 by carltonmellickI just wanted to mention that bizarro writer, Jeremy C. Shipp, has both of his books available as kindle editions now. Check them out:
It’s time for blueblood Bernard Johnson to leave his boring life behind and go on The Vacation, a yearlong corporate-sponsored odyssey. But instead of seeing the world, Bernard is captured by terrorists, becomes a key figure in secret drug wars, and, worse, doesn’t once miss his secure American Dream.
Jeremy Shipp is the master of the mind-bending tale. These stories bewitch and transport the reader. Though you may not know where Shipp will travel next, each story is an unforgettable thrill-ride and you’ll be glad you took the trip.
Shipp’s novel Vacation established him as one of the foremost authors in the “bizarro fiction” movement. Now he turns his attention to short fiction and literary horror. The themes of alienation and cultural homogenization on a global scale are explored in closer detail. Shipp notes, “This intimacy makes Sheep and Wolves much darker than its predecessor. Because now, the darkness is invading your homes, your dreams, your lives.” The author’s trademark quirky characters populate an otherwise bleak landscape, this time around facing horrors at home rather than evils abroad.
Vegan Bizarro!
Posted in Bizarro Events on July 16, 2009 by carltonmellickI admit that I eat vegan food from time to time. Not because I am vegan, but because I really appreciate the food. Since vegans have limited ingredients, they have to get really creative with their recipes. This is what I like about it. They invent completely new types of foods. I’ve always liked trying weird new foods. Usually, the way to try something completely different is to go to an ethnic restaurant, but I have pretty much tried every type of ethnic food out there. Then I realized that vegan food is becoming like the cutting edge for imaginative foods. When done right, it’s almost like eating Thai food or Indian food for the first time, and it has the right flavors and textures that you don’t miss cheese or meat at all. When it’s done wrong, it tastes like it really could use cheese or meat. That’s when it fails…at least for me. I know that this is sacrilege, but sometimes I do add cheese or meat to vegan food. Not often, though, because there’s usually no point. My favorite breakfast is a tofu scramble with veggies, cheese, and sometimes bacon…because I think tofu tastes better in a scramble than eggs. But most of the time I eat vegan food the way its meant to be eaten, and it’s usually pretty good (or at least interesting).
So why am I bringing up vegan food? Well, because two vegan bizarro writers are having a release party at the Hungry Tiger Too bar in Portland on August 4th, which is supposed to have some pretty good vegan food. If you live in the Portland area, come check it out. If you’re not interested in the vegan stuff, they also have regular bar food.
Here’s the info…
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Time: 7:30pm – 10:30pm
Location: Hungry Tiger Too! 207 SE 12th Portland
“Screams From a Dying World” is short Story collection by a local Portland author David Agranoff. It’s 13 tales of horror and Science fiction all with ecological and animal rights themes. “Swarm of Flying Eyeballs” is a novel by Seattle based Wonderland Award winning author of “13 thorns” Gina Ranalli. Gina’s fiction is sometimes horror, absurdist, visionary and always bizarro! Readings, Q and A, greasy vegan food!
Fun! Come by and throw things at us! (vegan things, please!)
Zombie Story
Posted in Fiction on July 14, 2009 by carltonmellickRecently, one of my never-before-published short stories was accepted into an anthology. The story is “Cockroaches and Lemon Knives,” which is a not-really-that-bizarro zombie story about people living within the walls like cockroaches to survive after the zombie apocalypse.
The anthology is “Zombies” (published by Black Dog and Leventhal). It is edited by John Skipp, who was the co-editor of “Book of the Dead,” which anthologized all the greatest zombie fiction ever published in the history of literature. “Zombies” anthologizes all the greatest zombie fiction ever published in the history of literature that didn’t appear in “Book of the Dead.” I’m proud to have a story included in this. If you don’t know John Skipp, I highly highly HIGHLY recommend checking out his co-authored book “The Emerald Burrito of Oz.” It’s seriously one of my favorite bizarro books and it’s not even categorized as bizarro. It is like a weird modernization of Oz. Really fun to read. It kind of reminds me of that mini-series “Tin Man” only ten billion times better (because Tin Man was pretty weak).
Here are some of the great writers who will be appearing in this anthology with me:
Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, Robert Bloch, Theodore Sturgeon, Poppy Z. Brite, Neil Gaiman, Max Brooks, Joe R. Lansdale, Kathe Koja, Robert R. McCammon, Jack Ketchum, George Saunders, Dennis Etchison, Leonid Andreyev, W.B. Seabrook, Steve Duffy, S.G. Browne, Justine Musk, Adam Golaski, Mehitobel Wilson, Les Daniels, Steve Rasnic Tem, Steven R. Boyett, David J. Schow, Eric Shapiro, John Skipp and Marc Levinthal, Cody Goodfellow, Lisa Morton, Terry Morgan and Christopher Morgan, Douglas E. Winter, and Adam-Troy Castro.
I will let you know once it comes out.





















































