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Rose’s “Survivor Countdown” – comedy video featuring me (and other bizarros)

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on July 19, 2011 by carltonmellick

Here’s a video where Rose (from the movie “Rose: A Bizarro Zombie Musical“) interviews four bizarros (including myself, Jeff Burk, Cameron Pierce and Eraserhead Press publisher Rose O’Keefe) to see what we’re up to during the zombie apocalypse. It’s like Space Ghost Coast to Coast meets Pee Wee’s Playhouse.

Also I highly recommend donating to the Rose kickstarter campaign. It just needs another $500 within the next 42 hours to meet its goal. Then it will get made! So help a filmmaker out! Every dollar is useful. This will be the first official bizarro fiction movie to be made, so let’s make it happen. Go here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1676362079/john-skipps-rose-the-bizarro-zombie-musical

Coming soon: “Ugly Heaven”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on July 15, 2011 by carltonmellick

This book is being re-issued as a stand alone this summer. It’s one of my books that very few have read, probably because of the high cover price. But at the time I wrote it I thought it was my best book by far. Since the original has been out of print for about a year, I hope you’ll get a chance to finally read it.

Here’s a description:

At one point in time, Heaven was a paradise. It was a blissful utopia full of wonders far beyond human comprehension. But that was a long, long time ago. The afterlife is now in ruins. It has become an ugly, lonely wasteland populated by strange monstrous beasts, masturbating angels, and sad man-like beings wallowing in the remains of the once-great Kingdom of God. As two recently departed souls arrive in Heaven, they discover their eternal home is not one of divine peace but of nightmarish ugliness. They go on a quest to explore this dead alien landscape, desperately seeking answers, allies, and some sort of place they can forever call home.

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OUT NOW: “Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on July 13, 2011 by carltonmellick

The sequel to my book “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland” is finally available.

BARBARIAN BEAST BITCHES OF THE BADLANDS

The Bitches are back . . .

They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. Following his 2009 Wonderland Book Award-winning novel, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Carlton Mellick III returns with Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands, a collection of three interconnected novellas that take place before, during, and after the events of the first book.

Including:

BARBARIAN BEAST BABES OF THE BADLANDS
Talon and a party of warrior biker women must hunt down a pack of giant wolves that have gone rabid.

HORRENDOUS HORROR OF THE HATEFUL HAMBURGLAR
A band of mutant soldiers led by the deadly samurai, Hamburglar, investigates an outpost deep in the wasteland that has become plagued by a horde of deranged undead killing machines.

FEROCIOUS FEMALE FURRIES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE
After Talon is infected with a strange mind-killing parasite, Slayer must lead a party of wolf women into the Forbidden Zone in order to find a cure.

available at amazon.com

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Out Now: “The Menstruating Mall” re-issue

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, Fiction, Uncategorized on June 16, 2011 by carltonmellick

The new edition of my book “The Menstruating Mall” is now available at amazon.com.

“The Breakfast Club meets Chopping Mall as directed by David Lynch.” – Brian Keene

Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these ten people cannot pry themselves away from their shopping miasma. The mall closes, and they won’t leave. Days pass, and they’re still there, eating meals in the food court and sleeping in department store bedroom displays. Then they begin to die off, one by one, murdered by a mysterious killer, and they still won’t allow themselves to escape. Carlton Mellick III’s “The Menstruating Mall” is both a modernized take on Luis Bunuel’s “The Exterminating Angel,” and a parody of Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None.”

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out now: “Jimmy Plush: Teddy Bear Detective” by Garrett Cook

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, eraserhead press on June 7, 2011 by carltonmellick

“In a city ridden with prostitute furries, cannibal cops and warehouse-sized mob bosses, I’ve got my work cut out for me. My name is Jimmy Plush. I’m a private detective. I’m also a teddy bear. It all started when the original Jimmy Plush entered my life, offering to take my gambling debts away if I agreed to switch bodies with him. But I didn’t know that being a three-foot-high plush toy would be such a living hell, especially now that everyone in town wants a piece of me. All I’ve gotten out of this deal is a faithful Chinese chauffeur, a custom teddybear .45, and a girlfriend who won’t take off the fox suit she turns tricks in. Now I’ve got to keep this town clean and try to track down the real Jimmy Plush without losing my stuffing for good. Only one thing is for sure: Life is hard when you’re soft. Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective is a high octane pulp satire. In the tradition of Sam Spade, The Shadow, Dick Tracy, Hellboy and Howard the Duck comes a new kind of hero, a hero that reminds us that the measure of a man is in his guts and his gun.”

Now available at amazon.com

Cover for “The Handsome Squirm”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on May 6, 2011 by carltonmellick

(click to enlarge)

This book won’t be out until the summer, but here is a preview of the cover art.

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OUT NOW: “War Slut”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on May 4, 2011 by carltonmellick

My novella War Slut has been re-released and is now available. This edition includes a new introduction and new cover art.

WAR SLUT

In a future where everyone in the world has been drafted into the military, there is only one enemy left to fight . . . ourselves.

Five exhausted soldiers are sitting in the middle of a frozen Arctic wasteland, waiting for something to happen. They don’t know why they are there or what they are supposed to be doing. Their superior officers have stopped giving them orders, their food supply is running low, and they are unsure whether or not their enemy actually exists at all. Once they lose their war slut (a transmorphing sex cyborg), the soldiers leave the safety of their camp in order to get it back. Only what they find out in the dark icy landscape is something far beyond what they ever could have imagined.

Part 1984, part Waiting for Godot, and part action horror video game adaptation of John Carpenter’s The Thing, WAR SLUT is a fast-paced dystopian tale of the dark and the absurd.

Available at amazon.com