Archive for 2010

Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books on November 26, 2010 by carltonmellick

Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
Bizarro pal Bradley Sands just released a book through Cameron Pierce’s Lazy Fascist Press. Winner of the best title of the year award…

SORRY I RUINED YOUR ORGY

Bizarro humorist Bradley Sands returns with one of the strangest, most hilarious collections of the year.

In Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, the pope gets sued, a headless man falls in love with a bowl of rice, and architects dismantle the earth. A war breaks out over greeting cards. A suicidal amputee tries to kill himself. William S. Burroughs becomes an amateur archaeologist and Tao Lin drinks an ape-flavored smoothie.

Between a breakfast of clocks, a lunch date with Adolf Hitler, and breakdancing in outer space, anything is possible in the work of Bradley Sands. Just never wear a bear costume to an orgy.

Get it at amazon.com.

“Lick Your Neighbor” by Chris Genoa – a bizarro Thanksgiving book

Posted in Bizarro Books on November 25, 2010 by carltonmellick

lick your neighbor

Chris Genoa, bizarro author of the Eraserhead Press top seller FOOP!, has returned with his long-awaited second novel Lick Your Neighbor. It is basically a very strange retelling of the first Thanksgiving. This is what you should be reading today while waiting for the turkey to cook.

LICK YOUR NEIGHBOR

When Dale Alden of the Duxbury Historical Preservation Society awakes on the morning before Thanksgiving, there’s a turkey hanging from a tree in his backyard, a duck hanging from a rope in his fridge, an ill-tempered farmer in his bedroom, cops on his doorstep, and his son’s greasy, drumstick-clutching hand in his face. And that’s all before he leaves for work.

Mutant ninjas, a talking whale, kung-fu masters, maniacal Pilgrims and an alcoholic clown populate Chris Genoa’s surreal, darkly comical and unnerving reimagining of the first Thanksgiving. Put down your feathered headdresses, puritan collars and buckled shoes and prepare to get schooled in the alternate history lesson they never mentioned in grade school.

“It’s just too fucking weird.” – CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of Lamb and A Dirty Job

Get it at amazon.com

“Cannibals of Candyland” fan film

Posted in Bizarro Books on November 8, 2010 by carltonmellick

I was just sent a short student film based on my book “Cannibals of Candyland.” I always get a huge kick out of this kind of thing, especially as a somebody who used to make tons of of student films like this in high school and college.

Check it out:



OUT NOW: Zombies and Shit

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, horror, zombies on November 3, 2010 by carltonmellick

My new book is now available. For those of you who wantedbook from me like Apeshit but the epic scale of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, this is the book for you. As an obsessive zombie fan this is a book I just had to write. It is everything I have ever wanted to see in a zombie story since I was a little kid playing “zombie apocalypse” with my GI Joes.

Check it out:

Description:

Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventure.

Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there’s only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight off the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other.

Zombies and Shit is Mellick’s craziest book to date. A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest that is as funny as it is brutal, as sad as it is strange. An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride that twists the zombie genre into something you’ve never seen before.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: The Bizarro Starter Kit (purple)

Posted in Bizarro Books on October 27, 2010 by carltonmellick

Out now from Eraserhead Press – the third Bizarro Starter Kit. This time the color is purple and ten more Bizarro Authors present stories and novellas.

There’s a new genre rising from the underground. Its name: BIZARRO. For years, readers have been asking for a category of fiction dedicated to the weird, crazy, cult side of storytelling that has become a staple in the film industry (with directors such as David Lynch, Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, and even Lloyd Kaufman) but has been largely ignored in the literary world, until now. The Bizarro Starter Kit (Purple) features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre:

Russell Edson – prose poems
Athena Villaverde – Clockwork Girl
David Agranoff – Punkupines of the Apocalypse
Matthew Revert – three stories
Andrew Goldfarb – comics
Jeff Burk – Cripple Wolf
Garrett Cook – Re-Mancipator
Kris Saknussemm – Sparklewheel
Cody Goodfellow – Homewreckers
Cameron Pierce – The Destroyed Room


Click Here to order from Amazon.com

Halloween Books to Read

Posted in Bizarro Authors, horror, zombies on October 26, 2010 by carltonmellick

Deadite Press, the cult horror imprint of Eraserhead Press, has these new titles that you should check out this Halloween:

SLAUGHTERHOUSE HIGH
by ROBERT DEVEREAUX

Whether you’re a fan of bizarro or extreme horror, you have to read this book. It’s a hardcore slasher tale set in a surreal alternate universe. It really is a must read.

Description:

It’s prom night in the Demented States of America. A place where schools are built with secret passageways, rebellious teens get zippers installed in their mouths and genitals, and once a year, on that special night, one couple is slaughtered and the bits of their bodies are kept as souvenirs. But something’s gone terribly wrong at Corundum High, where the secret killer is claiming a far higher body count than usual . . . Slaughterhouse High is Robert Devereaux’s slicing satire of sex, death, and public education.

Get it at amazon.com


THE BOOK OF A THOUSAND SINS
by WRATH JAMES WHITE

This is a must own not only because it’s got one of the best horror book covers of the year, but also because Wrath James White is a master of gore. This collects some of his best, most brutal tales.

Description:

God’s a mean bastard and doesn’t give a shit about you. Welcome to a world of Zombie nymphomaniacs, psychopathic deities, voodoo surgery, and murderous priests. A place where the gate to Heaven is in an elderly whore’s pussy and shit covered sewer drains lead to Hell. Where mutilation sex clubs are in vogue and torture machines are sex toys. This is the mind of Wrath James White. No one makes it out alive – not even God himself. The Book of a Thousand Sins collects fifteen anti-faith tales of depravity, gore, and sex from the celebrated master of hardcore horror. Be warned; Wrath James White is here to scar you.

Get it at amazon.com

TROLLEY NO. 1852
by EDWARD LEE

Description:

In 1934, horror writer H.P. Lovecraft is invited to write a story for a subversive underground magazine, all on the condition that a pseudonym will be used. The pay is lofty, and God knows, Lovecraft needs the money. There’s just one catch. It has to be a pornographic story . . . All Aboard Trolley No. 1852 Through the midnight bowels of New York City, the trolley travels. Admitting only a special sort of passenger, and taking them to a very select destination . . . The 1852 Club is a bordello unlike any other. Its women are the most beautiful in the whole city and they will do anything. But there is something else going on at this sex club. In the back rooms monsters are performing vile acts on each other and doors to other dimensions are opening . . .

Get it at amazon.com



ROCK AND ROLL REFORM SCHOOL ZOMBIES
by BRYAN SMITH

Description:

If you’re a teenage metal head The Southern Illinois Music Reeducation Center is not the place you want to go. The center specializes in “de-metaling” – a treatment to cure teens of their metal loving, devil worshiping ways. A program that subjects its prisoners to sexual abuse, torture, and brain-washing.

But tonight things get much worse. Tonight the flesh-eating zombies come . . .

Get it at amazon.com

The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books on September 22, 2010 by carltonmellick

Pickled Apocalypse

I highly recommend this book. I call it “David Cronenberg meets Dr. Seuss.”

A demented fairy tale about a pickle, a pancake, and the apocalypse.

It is Gaston Glew’s sixteenth Sad Day – the sixteenth anniversary of the saddest day of his life: his day of birth – and his parents have just committed suicide. Fed up with the sadness of Pickled Planet, Gaston Glew builds a rocket ship and blasts off into outer space, hoping to escape his briny fate.

Meanwhile, on Pancake Island, Fanny Fod, the most beautiful pancake girl in the world, nurses a secret sadness as she guards the origin of all happiness: the mysterious Cuddlywumpus. When Gaston’s rocket ship crash-lands in the sea of maple syrup that surrounds Pancake Island, nothing will ever be the same for him, or for Fanny Fod.

Captain Pickle says: “Unchain yourself from this briny fate, oh pickled prisoner, and read Cameron Pierce’s The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island: A Tragedy for People Who Eat Food!”

Get a copy at amazon.com

Cameron also pickled copies of his book, which are picture here:

pickl2
pickle3
pickle1

Shatnerquake fan art

Posted in art, Bizarro Artists, Bizarro Books on September 18, 2010 by carltonmellick

I recently stumbled across this bit of fan art from Jeff Burk’s Shatnerquake

Artist: tootsiemuppet

Out now: “The Vegan Revolution …with Zombies!” by David Agranoff

Posted in Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Fiction, Publishing, zombies on September 10, 2010 by carltonmellick

When there’s no more meat in hell,
the vegans will walk the earth.

vegan rev

If you are a zombie fan or a vegan you need to check out this book. Published by Deadite Press, the cult horror imprint of Eraserhead Press. I urged “punk horror” author David Agranoff to write this book because I thought it was a book that needed to be written. No one in the world could have written this book but David. I’m not a vegan, but you don’t have to be a vegan to like this. It’s just a good horror comedy that pokes fun at hipsters, Portlanders, juggalos, zombie fans, and even some aspects vegan culture. Oh, and it also pokes fun at the whole “with zombies” trend in literature that started with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The main character works at a zombie publishing house and is copyediting the next big zombie mash-up: Of Mice and Men and Zombies.

More information:

THE VEGAN REVOLUTION …WITH ZOMBIES
BY DAVID AGRANOFF

“Like Shaun of the Dead with vegans and hipsters. A hilarious zombie comedy. I loved it!” – Carlton Mellick III

“Destined to become a favorite among zombie fans and vegans alike.” – Gina Ranalli, author of Praise the Dead

“This witty novel celebrates everything I love about vegan Portland and kills everything I hate!” – Jess of Portland’s Get Sconed vegan blog.

Presenting Stress Free Food! Animal suffering is a thing of the past. Hipsters can now enjoy bacon without guilt. Thanks to a new miracle drug the cute little pig no longer feels a thing as she is led to the slaughter. The only problem? Once the drug enters the food supply anyone who eats it is infected. From fast food burgers to free-range organic eggs, eating animal products turns people into shambling brain-dead zombies. Not even vegetarians are safe!

In Portland, Oregon, vegans, freegans, abolitionists, hardliners and raw fooders have holed up in Food Fight, one of the country’s premier vegan grocery stores at the vegan mini-mall. There they must prepare for their final battle to take back the city from the hordes of roaming undead. Will vegans filet the flesh-eaters or will they become zombie chow?

When there’s no more meat in hell, the vegans will walk the earth.

Get it at amazon.com

I really like the book. I also love the trailer for the book. It looks as if this could have easily become a movie.

I highly recommend checking out the trailer here:

Here’s some shots from the shooting:

cast
The cast of characters, including David Agranoff on the far left and bizarro author Jeff Burk as the freegan on the far right.

zombies
Zombies!

freegan death
The freegan death scene

Cover for my upcoming zombie book

Posted in Bizarro Books on July 26, 2010 by carltonmellick

Return of the living dead style zombies + punks of the apocalypse in a battle royale style game show. Coming soon.