Archive for March 17, 2010

New “Choose Your Own Adventure” parody: Super Giant Monster Time!

Posted in Bizarro Books on March 17, 2010 by carltonmellick

It’s finally happened! The “Choose Your Own Mind-fuck Fest” series, which was originally a fake never-actually-going-to-happen-outside-of-one-book series that parodied the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books has actually become a reality. It all started with Ocean of Lard, which I co-wrote with Kevin L. Donihe. We never intended to actually create a new series with this book, which is why the book is #17 in the series rather than #1. But now it has happened. Numbers 1-16 are to be coming out in random order, starting with #3: “Super Giant Monster Time!” by Jeff Burk. I do plan to write more books in this series, as will several other bizarro writers and possibly some horror writers. But as with all series, the continuation of this depends on the success of the most currently released book, so if you’d like to see more bizarro Choose Your Own Adventure parodies in the future then check this one out now:


Super Giant Monster Time!
(Choose Your Own Mind Fuck Fest #3)

by Jeff Burk

illustrated by Chrissy Horchheimer

Will you escape the giant monsters that are rampaging the fuck out of your city?

Aliens are invading the Earth and their ray guns turn people into violent punk rockers. At the same time, the city is being overtaken by giant monsters tougher than Godzilla and Mothra combined. You can choose to be a lone scientist trapped in a secret government lab on a remote island swarming with monstrous killer insects, a badass punk rock chick with a green mohawk caught in a bar room brawl as the city goes up in flames around her, or a desk jockey forced to endure tedious office duties while his building is being attacked by a gargantuan centipede with claws the size of sports utility vehicles. Which character will you become?

To become the scientist, turn to page 149. To become the punk chick, turn to page 11. To become the office drone, turn to page 77. But choose wisely! You might conquer a fleet of alien saucers with the help of a high-flying monster-slicing super cat or drown in a giant monster’s pool of sperm as it butt-fucks your office building.

What will happen next? That’s up to you! When the story hits a fork in the road, you get to choose which path to take. The ending will always be different depending on your decisions. Not only that, you can read
this book over and over again for a new experience every time!

Click Here to Order from Amazon

If you haven’t already, check out the original:

ocean of lard