Carlton Mellick III

• Pages

  • About bizarro
  • About the Author
  • BOOKS
  • Events & Appearances
  • FAQs
  • Message Board
• 

  
  "Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"

  —Christopher Moore

  
  "Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."

  —Cory Doctorow

  
  CARLTON MELLICK III is an oafish gentleman with the stylishest of sideburns. He is one of the leading authors in the bizarro fiction genre—a booming underground movement that strives to bring weird, crazy, entertaining literature to the masses. Imagine a mixture of David Lynch, Dr. Suess, South Park, and Troma movies.
  He lives in Portland, OR.

• Featured Titles

  
  

  

  The Handsome Squirm
  Franz Kafka's The Trial meets an erotic horror version of The Blob
  

  
  

  

  Armadillo Fists
  A weird-as-hell gangster story.
  

  
  

  

  I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter
  A demonic romantic comedy

  
  
  

  

  Fantastic Orgy
  One novella plus four short stories

  
  
  

  

  Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
  The sequel to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

  
  
  

  

  The Morbidly Obese Ninja
  He's a 700 pound killing machine

  
  
  

  

  Crab Town
  A bizarro bank heist set in a radioactive post-nuke ghetto

  
  
  

  

  Zombies and Shit
  Battle Royale meets Return of the Living dead

  
  
  

  

  The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5)
  Dungeons and Dragons Adventure Porn!

  
  

  Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
  Road Warrior werewolves vs. McDonaldland Mutants

  
  

  The Cannibals of Candyland
  an erotic horror novel set in Candyland

  
  

  The Egg Man
  dark, dystopian, ugly

  
  

  The Faggiest Vampire
  a bizarro children's book

  

  Cybernetrix
  two words: Tron sex

  
  

  Apeshit
  Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q

  
  

  The Ultra Fuckers
  Japanese punks in suburban hell

  
  

  Adolf in Wonderland
  Nazis go down the rabbit hole

• All Books by Carlton Mellick

  • Adolf in Wonderland
  • Apeshit
  • Baby Jesus Butt Plug
  • Cannibals of Candyland
  • Cybernetrix
  • Egg Man
  • Electric Jesus Corpse
  • Faggiest Vampire
  • Fishy-fleshed
  • Haunted Vagina
  • Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment
  • Menstruating Mall
  • Ocean of Lard
  • Punk Land
  • Razor Wire Pubic Hair
  • Satan Burger
  • Sausagey Santa
  • Sea of the Patchwork Cats
  • Sex and Death in TV Town
  • Steel Breakfast Era
  • Sunset with a Beard
  • Teeth and Tongue Landscape
  • Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell
  • Ultra Fuckers
  • War Slut
  • Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
  • Zombies and Shit

• Bizarro Fiction Sites

  • Bizarro Central

• Bizarro Fiction Writers

  • Alyssa Sturgill
  • Andersen Prunty
  • Andre Duza
  • Andrew Goldfarb
  • Bradley Sands
  • Bruce Taylor
  • Carlton Mellick III
  • Chris Genoa
  • Christian TeBordo
  • D. Harlan Wilson
  • Eckhard Gerdes
  • Gina Ranalli
  • Jeremy C. Shipp
  • Jeremy Robert Johnson
  • John Edward Lawson
  • Jordan Krall
  • Kevin L Donihe
  • Mykle Hansen
  • Ray Fracalossy
  • Steve Aylett
  • Steve Beard
  • Tom Bradley
  • Tony Rauch
  • Vincent Sakowski

• Bizarro Starter Kits

  • Bizarro Starter Kit (blue)
  • Bizarro Starter Kit (orange)
  • http://BizarroStarterKit(purple)

• Praise for Carlton Mellick III

  
  "If you like satires which are highly imaginative, subversive, gory, funny as hell and completely surreal CM3 may be your literary messiah."

  —Ricardo Gonzalez Del Valle

  
  "CM3 is the most imaginative writer since Lethem and Vonnegut. Different, and absolutely thought provoking..."

  —Daniel McCreary

  
  "Carlton Mellick creates fascinating and intricate worlds out of meat, slime, sexuality, wire, and the kind of nightmares that make you laugh when you wake up."

  —Jemiah Jefferson

  
  "Brilliant writing that oozes into your skull and melts your brain like a box of a zillion crayons."

  —Idiot Alien Thought Creature

  
  "His books are from another universe."

  —Cameron Pierce

  
  "Mellick is smarter than the dumbness he tries to coat his writing in; you feel like you're reading a comic or watching MTV - but that underneath there is something deeper and smarter than the cartoonish presentation before your eyes."

  —Euchrid

  
  "Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."

  —Ian David McGowen

  
  "There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety. Yes, it's all on purpose, and you've just been had!"

  —Schtinky

  
  "Mellick has definitely joined the ranks of the bizarre literary geniuses such as Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, and Vonnegut."

  —Charles Glover

  
  "Mellick's imagination is boundless, and his writing truly shows this. His characters, plot, and writing style are original, enjoyable, and inspiring."

  —Lionel Bigsby

  
  

• Recent Posts

  • New issue of The Dream People
  • Cover art for future books: Wonka, Quicksand House, and Satan Burger: 10th Anniversary Edition
  • OUT NOW: “Red World”
  • OUT NOW: “The Handsome Squirm”
  • BizarroCon tickets available

• Archives

  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009

• Carlton’s Twitter Feed

  • New issue of The Dream People nblo.gs/xEj3Q 3 days ago
  • @John_Lemut there's already a satan burger anus cover. no need for two. 1 week ago
  • @robertnlee It actually came out in 2001. This edition was supposed to be released last year but the bonus content held it back 1 week ago
  • Cover art for future books: Wonka, Quicksand House, and Satan Burger: 10th Anniversary Edition nblo.gs/xoJq4 1 week ago
  • OUT NOW: “Red World” nblo.gs/x48Rw 2 weeks ago

• Carlton Mellick III

  • New issue of The Dream People May 15, 2012
    features an excerpt from Armadillo Fists
    carltonmellick
  • Cover art for future books: Wonka, Quicksand House, and Satan Burger: 10th Anniversary Edition May 8, 2012
    Just showing off cover art for books that won't be coming out for quite a while. There's "Wonka" which is kind of like a retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the world of Beyond Thunderdome, "Quicksand House" a quiet surreal story about children in search of their parents inside a mansion the size of a country, and […]
    carltonmellick
  • OUT NOW: “Red World” April 30, 2012
    My novelette "Red World" has just been released by White belly Press. It is a 30 page trade paperback with a very limited run of 100 copies. If you want a copy I suggest you get it right away.
    carltonmellick
  • OUT NOW: “The Handsome Squirm” April 18, 2012
    My new book is now available.
    carltonmellick
  • BizarroCon tickets available April 17, 2012
    If you are involved or want to be involved in the bizarro fiction scene this is a must-attend event.
    carltonmellick
  • New Carlton Mellick III Message Board January 25, 2012
    I now have a new message board. Come by and say hi.
    carltonmellick
  • T-2000 action figure January 3, 2012
    I pity the fool who doesn't wish they could own a T-2000 action figure.
    carltonmellick
  • OUT NOW: “Armadillo Fists” + 2 more bizarro books December 29, 2011
    A weird-as-hell gangster story set in a world where people drive giant mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars.
    carltonmellick
  • Cover for “Pippi of the Apocalypse” December 17, 2011
    It might not be for a year or more before this one comes out, but for fans of the Warrior Wolf Women world I wanted to announce that I will in fact be writing the third book in the series.
    carltonmellick
  • COMING SOON: “Tumor Fruit” December 14, 2011
    A bizarro island survival story set on an alien planet.
    carltonmellick
• Search for:
• NetworkedBlogs

  Blog:

  Carlton Mellick III

  Topics:

  bizarro fiction, bizarro, Carlton Mellick

  Follow my blog
• 

•  

  May 2012

  M	T	W	T	F	S	S
  « Apr
  	1	2	3	4	5	6
  7	8	9	10	11	12	13
  14	15	16	17	18	19	20
  21	22	23	24	25	26	27
  28	29	30	31

• Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com. Theme: Black-LetterHead by Ulysses Ronquillo.