COMING SOON: “Armadillo Fists” and “The Handsome Squirm”

18 Responses to “COMING SOON: “Armadillo Fists” and “The Handsome Squirm””

  1. Tell me more please. What are they about and when are they due out.

    CMIII you rock!

  2. carltonmellick Says:

    Armadillo Fists will be out in a month. It’s about a female boxer with armadillos for hands on the run from the mob in a world where people drive giant robotic dinosaurs instead of cars. It’s actually one of my favorite books I’ve written.

    The Handsome Squirm will be out a month or two after that. It’s about a dark and surreal wedding ceremony. In order to get out of a jail sentence a guy agrees to marry a woman he’s never met. But he soon learns there’s something not quite right with the wedding ceremony and his soon-to-be-in-laws. Things get stranger as they go. This will be more in the style of my earlier novellas like Ultra Fuckers, War Slut, and Teeth and Tongue Landscape.

    • Fucking awesome can’t wait to get them!!! I just got I Knocked up Satan’s Daughter and Fantastic Orgy last week in the mail, and also need to get to my copy of Barbarian Beast Bitches read too before these come out. As always thank you so much for all your work and you keep writing them and I will keep scooping them up brother.

  3. You are amazing!

    I am so behind on your collection. with the way youre pumping out books, I don’t think I will ever catch up. Can’t wait to get my hands on more this november. I have started Fantastic Orgy, love it so far.

    • carltonmellick Says:

      I’m sure you’ll catch up, Zoe! I don’t think it’s possible to pump them out too quickly for people to read. If somebody read all of the books I’ve written this year, even the ones not out yet, it would probably only take 20-30 hours of reading time to finish them all. Of course that doesn’t count all of the awesome books that have been coming out by other bizarro fiction authors this year. It’s been a good year for bizarro books.

  4. I am in love with the cover for ” The Handsome Squirm”

  5. These both sound awesome, especially The Handsome Squirm, and the cover art is fantastic.

  6. 20-30 hours? Gimme the challenge. sated with Satan’s daughter and the orgy…I NEED MORE! also. i’m trying to find the audio of Candy-coated, does it still exist? at this point, i’d be happy to hear burgess merideth sprake it.

  7. just finished Satan’s Daughter and it was fucking awesome! Getting ready to start in on Fantastic Orgy this evening. Can’t wait for these two! Armadillo Fist sounds crazy and The Handsome Squirm cover reminds me of that Guns N Roses video where Axel gets married to that girl that was waaaay to hot to be marrying Axel Rose.

  8. Daniel Rodrigues Gomes Says:

    Greetings from Brazil!

    I’m here just to put on record my admiration for your work. I’m reading my now the Apeshit. I’ve read The Cannibals Candyland, Haunted Vagina, and Satan Burger.
    I wrote a review of The Cannibals of Candyland in my blog. I hope that some publisher, here in my country, will be interested in your work and other authors of Bizarro Fiction and translate something into Portuguese. I did a rough translation of The Cannibals of Candyland in MS Word to show some of my friends who do not speak English very well and my nephew.

  9. Daniel Rodrigues Gomes Says:

    Sorry, I forgot to add the link to the review on my blog:

  10. Mike mostlymisspelledlastname Says:

    Trying to play catch up like lost of others buying books as budget allows but the ‘Dillo Fist one looks loopy enough to make money mismanagement justifiable.

  11. They are now on the Christmas list. The cover art is as good as I know the writing will be inside. I plan to give out copies of Apeshit to select people this year.

  12. These books are being delayed and might not be available by Christmas.

  13. Hey no worries as long as they are still coming thats what matters!

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