Archive for the Fiction Category

Special Bizarro Issue of The Pedestal Magazine

Posted in Bizarro Fiction, Fiction, Publishing, Uncategorized, Writing Related on April 22, 2010 by carltonmellick

The masterful bizarro author D. Harlan Wilson will be editing a bizarro issue of The Pedestal Magazine. Here are the submission guidelines:

The Pedestal Magazine invites submissions for a special issue of Bizarro fiction to be edited by D. Harlan Wilson. Flash fiction between 250-1000 words will be considered. Loosely speaking, “Bizarro” is an umbrella term encompassing different kinds of weird, absurd, horrific, uncanny, and/or grotesque speculative fiction. Literary and experimental forms are strongly encouraged. Do not submit work that is simply weird for weird’s sake; also avoid toilet humor and boyish antics. We are looking for purposeful Bizarro that is dynamically written and thought-provoking. Payment for accepted stories will be $.08 per word. No reprints. Submission period will run from April 28-June 14. All submissions will be received via the submission form provided on The Pedestal Magazine website: http://www.thepedestalmagazine.com.

Submission Call for “Christmas on Crack”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Fiction, Publishing, Writing Related on April 15, 2010 by carltonmellick

I’m looking for stories for an upcoming bizarro Christmas-themed anthology called “Christmas on Crack.”

What I’m looking for: very weird children’s Christmas stories for adults. I’m especially looking for fucked up versions of classic Christmas stories like Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Twas the Night Before Christmas, a Christmas Carol, etc, but something completely original would also be welcome. I want these stories to be funny, imaginative, surreal, trashy, clever, and not at all appropriate for children. Think of Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas meets Lloyd Kaufman’s Poultrygeist. The weirder the better, the trashier the better, the funnier the better. Surprise me.

Note: I would prefer if the stories were told in a narrative style similar to that of a children’s story. Think of The Faggiest Vampire meets Sausagey Santa. That’s the kind of thing I want to see, but better. But a good story is a good story no matter what style it’s written in.

Length: I’d like stories that are 3,000-12,000 words long.

How to submit: I actually don’t want you to write anything until after you contact me. Pitch me an idea for your story first. That way if I’m not interested then you don’t have to go through the trouble of writing it. I am only going to respond to story ideas that interest me, so if you never hear back from me it probably means that I think your story ideas are completely lame and you shouldn’t have even bothered to try. Well, either that or other pitches better caught my attention.

Send an idea (or three) for a bizarro Christmas story you’d like to write for me to: carltonmellick3@yahoo.com.

Deadline: I will be taking pitches until May 15th 2010 or sooner if I find enough ideas that I like.

Honorable Mention

Posted in Fiction on April 12, 2010 by carltonmellick

My story “Lemon Knives ‘n’ Cockroaches” published in Zombies: Encounters of the Hungry Dead got an honorable mention in Ellen Datlow’s Best Horror of the Year.

If you haven’t read this anthology I recommend it.

zombies

Zombie Story

Posted in Fiction on July 14, 2009 by carltonmellick

Recently, one of my never-before-published short stories was accepted into an anthology. The story is “Cockroaches and Lemon Knives,” which is a not-really-that-bizarro zombie story about people living within the walls like cockroaches to survive after the zombie apocalypse.

The anthology is “Zombies” (published by Black Dog and Leventhal). It is edited by John Skipp, who was the co-editor of “Book of the Dead,” which anthologized all the greatest zombie fiction ever published in the history of literature. “Zombies” anthologizes all the greatest zombie fiction ever published in the history of literature that didn’t appear in “Book of the Dead.” I’m proud to have a story included in this. If you don’t know John Skipp, I highly highly HIGHLY recommend checking out his co-authored book “The Emerald Burrito of Oz.” It’s seriously one of my favorite bizarro books and it’s not even categorized as bizarro. It is like a weird modernization of Oz. Really fun to read. It kind of reminds me of that mini-series “Tin Man” only ten billion times better (because Tin Man was pretty weak).

Here are some of the great writers who will be appearing in this anthology with me:

Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, Robert Bloch, Theodore Sturgeon, Poppy Z. Brite, Neil Gaiman, Max Brooks, Joe R. Lansdale, Kathe Koja, Robert R. McCammon, Jack Ketchum, George Saunders, Dennis Etchison, Leonid Andreyev, W.B. Seabrook, Steve Duffy, S.G. Browne, Justine Musk, Adam Golaski, Mehitobel Wilson, Les Daniels, Steve Rasnic Tem, Steven R. Boyett, David J. Schow, Eric Shapiro, John Skipp and Marc Levinthal, Cody Goodfellow, Lisa Morton, Terry Morgan and Christopher Morgan, Douglas E. Winter, and Adam-Troy Castro.

I will let you know once it comes out.

“Candy-coated” a short story by me

Posted in Fiction on July 2, 2009 by carltonmellick

It’s my birthday today, so it’s made me think of a story I wrote around my birthday last year. (It was critiqued at the Clarion West workshop the day before my birthday.)

If you haven’t read it yet, the story is called “Candy-coated.” It was published in Vice Magazine around Christmas time in their last all-fiction issue. You can still read it online here: http://www.viceland.com/int/v15n12/htdocs/candy-coated-401.php

There is also an audio version you can listen to on that page, read by the woman who does the voice on the PA at Whole Foods. I recommend reading it first and then listening to the audio, because it is funnier that way.

If you like it, let me know what you think.

Here’s a sample:

“Knob Tyler thinks he’s the strongest, toughest, most badass motherfucker on Mill Avenue. Unfortunately, Knob has a lollipop for a head. This makes him not quite as badass as he thinks he is.”