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OUT NOW: Clownfellas

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 7, 2015 by carltonmellick

My new book, CLOWNFELLAS, is now available from Random House Hydra. I had a blast writing this book. I hope you check it out.



In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Bozo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you.

For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Bozo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Bozos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Bozos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing.

Praise for ClownFellas

“Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.” —Publishers Weekly

“The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.” —Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header

“Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland.

“I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown

“If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue . . . A must-read.” —This Is Horror

“Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . ClownFellas is a gem!” —The Qwillery

“A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.” —

“Mellick has created another amazing read . . . Highly recommended.” —Kitty Horror

OUT NOW: “As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 1, 2015 by carltonmellick

My new serial killer book, As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face, is now available. I hope you check it out.



Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It’s the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel–a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana’s soul. He makes her a deal: if she promises to never kill another person again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim.

What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it’s not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him.

As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer’s affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.

Now available at

OUT NOW: “The Tick People”

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2014 by carltonmellick

I’m happy to announce that my 44th book is now available. Unlike my last few books, this is a short quick read and somewhat similar in tone to my early bizarro novellas like Teeth and Tongue Landscape, Steel Breakfast Era or Ugly Heaven. I hope you check it out.


They call it Gloom Town, but that isn’t its real name. It is a sad city, the saddest of cities, a place so utterly depressing that even their ales are brewed with the most sorrow-filled tears. They built it on the back of a colossal mountain-sized animal, where its woeful citizens live like human fleas within the hairy, pulsing landscape. And those tasked with keeping the city in a state of constant melancholy are the Stressmen-a team of professional sadness-makers who are perpetually striving to invent new ways of causing absolute misery.

But for the Stressman known as Fernando Mendez, creating grief hasn’t been so easy as of late. His ideas aren’t effective anymore. His treatments are more likely to induce happiness than sadness. And if he wants to get back in the game, he’s going to have to relearn the true meaning of despair.

Like James and the Giant Peach combined with one of David Cronenberg’s early body horror films, The Tick People is a charming children’s fable that quickly devolves into a grotesque sexual nightmare.


New Eraserhead Press Releases — SPRING 2013

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, Fiction, Jeff Burk, mermaids, post-apocalypse, Uncategorized on April 26, 2013 by carltonmellick

Normally, Eraserhead Press releases 3-4 books per quarter. This quarter, however, there are only two releases. I blame this on Shatnerquest. It required more publishing slots to contain all of the awesome.



After the apocalypse, three Star Trek fans and their morbidly obese cat embark on a quest to save their beloved idol, the one and only William Shatner, from the hostile world America has become.

But their journey will not be easy, for the wasteland is filled with cannibal cults, Klingon biker gangs, Zombie Borg, and all manner of mutant creatures. And once they arrive at their destination, they discover that William Shatner has been transformed into Shatzilla – a giant 100-story radioactive monster hell-bent on destroying all of Los Angeles.

Now instead of saving Shatner from this new apocalyptic world, these three fans must save the world from this new apocalyptic Shatner. If only there was another giant monster who could take him down…

From the author who brought you the cult hit Shatnerquake, comes another Shat-tastic sci-fi comedy that proves once and for all that there actually is something even bigger than William Shatner’s ego. And it is… William Shatner!

Click here to buy from


MERMAID [mur-meyd] noun — a rare species of fish evolved to resemble the appearance of a woman in order to attract male human prey.

Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren’t able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet.

The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these “feeder humans” are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids’ new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea.

Like a Lovecraftian version of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, Village of the Mermaids is a dystopian mystery that proves once again how cult author Carlton Mellick III brings the weird to a whole new level.


(Coming in July)

“In Heaven Everything is Fine: Stories Inspired by the Films of David Lynch” edited by Cameron Pierce
“Quicksand House” by Carlton Mellick III
“Japan Conquers the Galaxy” by Kirsten Alene
“You Are a Sloth” by Steve Lowe

Village of the Mermaids – Preview

Posted in absurdism, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, dark comedy, mermaids, surrealism, twin peaks, Uncategorized on April 3, 2013 by carltonmellick

This is a deleted scene from my book, Village of the Mermaids, which will soon be available at It introduces the character of Doctor Black. The scene takes place before the book begins and can be read as a stand-alone story.

Continue reading

OUT NOW: “Tumor Fruit”

Posted in Uncategorized on August 27, 2012 by carltonmellick

My new book is now available. It is a “mysterious island” story for the bizarro audience. Perhaps one of my best. It is definitely one of my most epic.

tumor fruit


If they don’t act fast, they’ll never get out alive…

Eight desperate castaways find themselves stranded on a mysterious deserted island. They are surrounded by poisonous blue plants and an ocean made of acid. Strange creatures lurk in the toxic jungle. The ghostly sound of crying babies can be heard on the wind.

Once they realize the rescue ships aren’t coming, the eight castaways must band together in order to survive in this inhospitable environment. But survival might not be possible. The air they breathe is toxic, there is no shelter from the elements, and the only food they have to consume is the squid-shaped tumors that grow from a mentally disturbed woman’s body.

From the crazy imagination of bizarro fiction master Carlton Mellick III comes Tumor Fruit–an intense survival story full of eccentric characters, nail-biting suspense, and unpredictable twists.

Like LOST on steroids, for the bizarro generation.

Available at

OUT NOW: Reissues of Three Early Experimental Novellas

Posted in Uncategorized on August 1, 2012 by carltonmellick

Three of my earlier works have just been reprinted. These were written when I was in my early twenties, back when I had a much more surreal, disjointed writing style. If you’re only familiar with my newer stuff and want to check out the kind of bizarro fiction I was writing over a decade ago, these three are good place to start. Other works written in this style include: Teeth and Tongue Landscape, Baby Jesus Butt Plug, and Adolf in Wonderland. Once I wrote The Menstruating Mall my style began to evolve in another direction, one that focused more on plot and less on poetic prose.

All of these reprints include new introductions, new cover art, and are priced at $7.95.


It’s Naked Lunch meets Dawn of the Dead in this postmodern post-apocalyptic zombie nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III.

Hundreds of years have passed since the living dead conquered the Earth. Surviving humans have been reduced to vermin, breeding like cockroaches in ancient fortified high-rise apartment buildings. Those who are still lingering in the shadowy waste have either gone completely insane or become infested with parasites that mutate flesh into steel-string sculptures. There is nothing left to live for, no hope for any kind of future. Only the long wait for death remains. But one man refuses to die just yet. He must first find a wife, somebody who will love him, so that he doesn’t have to die alone. And he won’t give up until he finds this person, even if he has to build a woman himself using the scrap body parts that litter the hallways.

Told in Mellick’s early schizophrenic prose style, Steel Breakfast Era is perhaps the most surreal zombie apocalypse story ever told.


A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III.

In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don’t quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world.

Told in Mellick’s early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese “guro” porn.


Was Jesus actually a time-traveler from the future? The citizens of Ocean City believe this could be the case. Their world has become so technologically advanced that everyone now possesses the ability to walk on water, cure diseases, multiply food, and raise the dead… They are like an entire civilization of Jesus Christs. But when a team of researchers travel back in time to the days of Christ, they discover the past is a lot different than they ever imagined. It is an illogical flatland lacking in dimension and color, a sick-scape of crispy squid people wandering the desert for no apparent reason. And when they meet the Messiah, they learn he is not actually the great man they were expecting him to be. In fact, he isn’t exactly a man at all.

Told in Mellick’s early schizophrenic prose style, Fishy-fleshed is part pulp science-fiction, part experimental fiction, and 100% bizarro as hell.


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