Archive for the Carlton Mellick III Category

OUT NOW: “Armadillo Fists” + 2 more bizarro books

Posted in Athena Villaverde, Bizarro Authors, Bizarro Books, Cameron Pierce, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press, horror on December 29, 2011 by carltonmellick

My new novel, Armadillo Fists, is now available at amazon.com. In my opinion, this is probably the best book I’ve written yet. A lot of my books have been released this year, but this is the one I most recommend. Stylistically, it is similar to Zombies and Shit or Crab Town (It has the epic pacing and character development of Zombies and Shit, but with the crime-drama-set-in-a-surreal-world flavor of Crab Town.)

Anyway, if you only read one of my books published this year, make it this one…

armadillo fists

ARMADILLO FISTS

A weird-as-hell gangster story set in a world where people drive giant mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars.

Her name is Psycho June Howard, aka Armadillo Fists, a woman who replaced both of her hands with living armadillos. She was once the most bloodthirsty fighter in the world of illegal underground boxing. But now she is on the run from a group of psychotic gangsters who believe she’s responsible for the death of their boss.

With the help of a stegosaurus driver named Mr. Fast Awesome–who thinks he is God’s gift to women even though he doesn’t have any arms or legs–June must do whatever it takes to escape her pursuers, even if she has to kill each and every one of them in the process.

Strange, engaging characters, breakneck pacing, and jam-packed with more brilliantly weird concepts than you’ll know what to do with–this is cult author Carlton Mellick III at his best.

Available at amazon.com

In addition to Armadillo Fists, two more bizarro books have just been released:

As I have said in the past, I mentor new authors from time to time. Cameron Pierce and Athena Villaverde are two authors I work with regularly. I put a lot of love and attention into these authors and highly recommend their work to those who enjoy my books. They have just released books that I consider must-reads. So if you plan on getting Armadillo Fists, I recommend also adding these two books to your amazon.com shopping cart.


CLOCKWORK GIRL

BY ATHENA VILLAVERDE

Athena writes strange urban fairy tales. If urban fairy tales are your thing then she is a must read. Think of her as the bizarro equivalent to alternative young adult authors like Francesca Lia Block, Kathe Koja, and Charles de Lint. Fans of Tim Burton, Hayao Miyazaki, or any Studio Ghibli/Japanese animation films would also love her work.

Athena’s 2nd book is the real deal. If you thought she couldn’t possibly beat her awesome debut effort, Starfish Girl, then you’ll be happy to hear her second book not only surpasses her first but blows it completely out of the water. Clockwork Girl is a collection of three short novellas, including the title story which you might have already read in the Bizarro Starter Kit (purple). It also includes “Caterpillar Girl” which is basically a high school drama set in a world of bug people and “Beehive Girl” which is a poetic story about a dancer with living beehive skin who demands the best of her dance partners or else they will be stung to death.

This book is designed to be an introduction to Athena’s work. It proves that she will soon become a major female voice . . . not just in the world of bizarro fiction, but in the world of literature as a whole.

Available at
amazon.com


GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND

BY CAMERON PIERCE

If you follow bizarro fiction you probably already know about the work of Cameron Pierce. When it comes to strange imagery, Cameron is king. Nobody can make you visualize the surreal quite like Cameron can. His stories take place in weird worlds that go beyond anything you’ve ever imagined. As I often say, he is best described as Dr. Seuss meets David Cronenberg (and by Cronenberg, I mean early squishy “Videodrome” Cronenberg).

His latest book, Gargoyle Girls of Spider Island, is in my top three favorite Cameron books next to Ass Goblins of Auschwitz and the novella “No Children” published in Abortion Arcade. This book is bizarro pulp trash at its best. It is fast-paced, goofy, gory, low-brow fun yet despite all of that it’s also perhaps Cameron’s most finely-crafted story yet. This one really surprised me.

An excellent young author who will only get better with each book he writes, Cameron Pierce is obviously a must read for bizarro fiction fans.

Available at amazon.com

By the way: at amazon.com, shipping is free on book orders of $25 or more, so you might want to get all three of these books together to save a bit of money.

COMING SOON: “Tumor Fruit”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III on December 14, 2011 by carltonmellick

Armadillo Fists will be out in a week or two, Handsome Squirm will be out in a month, and after that will be this book which has the working title TUMOR FRUIT. This one is an island survival story, kind of like a bizarro version of Castaway. I’ve always been a fan of wilderness survival stories so this is one I’m really excited about.

Bizarro Christmas Books

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, Christmas boks on December 9, 2011 by carltonmellick

Ready to shove some holiday cheer up somebody’s ass?
Do so with one of these four bizarro Christmas classics.

santa steps outsanta conquers homophobeschristmas on cracksausagey santa

BizarroCon Reports

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Events, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, Uncategorized on November 30, 2011 by carltonmellick

BizarroCon was about a week or so ago and I’m still riding the high caused by this awesome event. For those of you who don’t know, BizarroCon is an annual four day meetup of about 80 writers and artists involved in the Bizarro Fiction genre. We get together at Edgefield Manor outside of Portland, OR, which is also a brewery, winery, distillery. It’s four days full of parties, workshops, crazy performances, readings, networking, brainstorming, and planning the future of the bizarro fiction genre. If you’re a writer of bizarro fiction, it’s something you should be going to every single year.

I didn’t write a con report for this year’s bizarrocon, but I recommend checking out these con reports from other attendees:

Sam Reeve’s Top 10 Highlights of Bizarrocon 2011

David W Barbee’s Fast Times at BizarroCon ’11

Brian Keene’s BizarroCon report

Spike Marlowe’s report

A complete list of my books published in 2011

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, Uncategorized on November 29, 2011 by carltonmellick

For those of you who haven’t been following my releases, here’s a list of all of my books published in 2011:

Aramdillo Fists is due out soon, but probably not until after Christmas. Then Handsome Squirm will likely come out soon after that. However, these two are not yet available.

It’s been a productive year. 7 are new titles, 5 are reprints. Next year will likely be just as productive.

OUT NOW: “Sea of the Patchwork Cats” re-issue

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, end of the world, Fiction, surrealism on November 25, 2011 by carltonmellick

Sea of the Patchwork Cats

Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time . . .

Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats.

Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone.

Available at amazon.com

COMING SOON: “Armadillo Fists” and “The Handsome Squirm”

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III on October 4, 2011 by carltonmellick

Out Now: “I KNOCKED UP SATAN’S DAUGHTER” – a demonic romantic comedy

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, eraserhead press on September 19, 2011 by carltonmellick

I KNOCKED UP SATAN’S DAUGHTER: A DEMONIC ROMANTIC COMEDY

Jonathan Vandervoo lives a carefree life in a house made of legos, spending his days building lego sculptures and his nights getting drunk with his only friend-an alcoholic sumo wrestler named Shoji. It’s a pleasant life with no responsibility, until the day he meets Lici. She’s a soul-sucking demon from hell with red skin, glowing eyes, a forked tongue, and pointy red devil horns… and she happens to be nine months pregnant with Jonathan’s baby.

Now Jonathan must do the right thing and marry the succubus or else her demonic family is going to rip his heart out through his ribcage and force him to endure the worst torture hell has to offer for the rest of eternity. But can Jonathan really love a fire-breathing, frog-eating, cold-blooded demoness? Or would eternal damnation be preferable? Either way, the big day is approaching. And once Jonathan’s conservative Christian family learns their son is about to marry a spawn of Satan, it’s going to be all-out war between demons and humans, with Jonathan and his hell-born bride caught in the middle.

I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter is an adorable, violent, fantastical love story. A romantic comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.

Available at amazon.com

OUT NOW: “Zombies and Shit” re-issue with a new introduction by Brian Keene

Posted in Bizarro Books, Bizarro Fiction, Carlton Mellick III, deadite press, eraserhead press on July 20, 2011 by carltonmellick

The re-issue of my bizarro zombie novel, Zombies and Shit, is now available. This edition comes with a new introduction by horror master BRIAN KEENE. Other than that, this edition has a new cover design and, uh … better copy editing!

ZOMBIES AND SHIT

Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventure.

Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon discover they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there’s only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight against the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other.

Zombies and Shit is Mellick’s craziest book to date. A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest that is as funny as it is brutal, as sad as it is strange. An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride that twists the zombie genre into something you’ve never seen before, but always wanted to.


“For fans of zombie fiction, this is an absolute MUST FUCKING READ!” – JEFF BURK, author of Shatnerquake

“It’s fucking exhilarating–a tight, breakneck narrative and lots of awesome ultra-violence and quirky, distinct characters.” – BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea

“Unlike any zombie apocalypse novel you’ve ever read, Zombies and Shit takes the zombie mythology and reimagines it in a brutal reality game show like no other. Filled with sentient zombies, zombie smart cars, mechanized zombie dogs, and a cybernetic Mr. T, Zombies and Shit is part Running Man, part Battle Royale, part Lost, and all Carlton Mellick III.” – S. G. BROWNE, author of Breathers

4 for 3 deal at amazon.com

Posted in Bizarro Books, Carlton Mellick III, deadite press, eraserhead press on July 19, 2011 by carltonmellick

Many of my books, and other Eraserhead Press and Deadite Press books priced under $10, are available at amazon.com for a buy three get one free deal.

Here are some of my books available for the 4 for 3 deal:

Here are some other Eraserhead Press books available at the 4 for 3 deal:

Deadite Press books available at the 4 for 3 deal:

I’m not sure how long it will be going on, so get them while it lasts. There are also other Eraserhead Press books on amazon that are doing this deal. Just look around. About 75% of books under $10 can be bought at 4 for the price of 3.

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