For those of you who have read my book Zombies and Shit, you know that Mr. T is featured in the story as a zombie-smashing cyborg called the T-2000. Here’s a T-2000 action figure made by Warhorse Customs.
Check out more images here:
PS – This is just a fan made custom. It’s not actually for sale.
Armadillo Fists will be out in a week or two, Handsome Squirm will be out in a month, and after that will be this book which has the working title TUMOR FRUIT. This one is an island survival story, kind of like a bizarro version of Castaway. I’ve always been a fan of wilderness survival stories so this is one I’m really excited about.
Ready to shove some holiday cheer up somebody’s ass?
Do so with one of these four bizarro Christmas classics.
BizarroCon was about a week or so ago and I’m still riding the high caused by this awesome event. For those of you who don’t know, BizarroCon is an annual four day meetup of about 80 writers and artists involved in the Bizarro Fiction genre. We get together at Edgefield Manor outside of Portland, OR, which is also a brewery, winery, distillery. It’s four days full of parties, workshops, crazy performances, readings, networking, brainstorming, and planning the future of the bizarro fiction genre. If you’re a writer of bizarro fiction, it’s something you should be going to every single year.
I didn’t write a con report for this year’s bizarrocon, but I recommend checking out these con reports from other attendees:
Sam Reeve’s Top 10 Highlights of Bizarrocon 2011
David W Barbee’s Fast Times at BizarroCon ’11
Brian Keene’s BizarroCon report
Spike Marlowe’s report
For those of you who haven’t been following my releases, here’s a list of all of my books published in 2011:
Aramdillo Fists is due out soon, but probably not until after Christmas. Then Handsome Squirm will likely come out soon after that. However, these two are not yet available.
It’s been a productive year. 7 are new titles, 5 are reprints. Next year will likely be just as productive.
Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time . . .
Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats.
Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone.
Available at amazon.com
The re-issue of my bizarro zombie novel, Zombies and Shit, is now available. This edition comes with a new introduction by horror master BRIAN KEENE. Other than that, this edition has a new cover design and, uh … better copy editing!
Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventure.
Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon discover they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there’s only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight against the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other.
Zombies and Shit is Mellick’s craziest book to date. A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest that is as funny as it is brutal, as sad as it is strange. An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride that twists the zombie genre into something you’ve never seen before, but always wanted to.
“For fans of zombie fiction, this is an absolute MUST FUCKING READ!” – JEFF BURK, author of Shatnerquake
“It’s fucking exhilarating–a tight, breakneck narrative and lots of awesome ultra-violence and quirky, distinct characters.” – BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea
“Unlike any zombie apocalypse novel you’ve ever read, Zombies and Shit takes the zombie mythology and reimagines it in a brutal reality game show like no other. Filled with sentient zombies, zombie smart cars, mechanized zombie dogs, and a cybernetic Mr. T, Zombies and Shit is part Running Man, part Battle Royale, part Lost, and all Carlton Mellick III.” – S. G. BROWNE, author of Breathers
Here’s a video where Rose (from the movie “Rose: A Bizarro Zombie Musical“) interviews four bizarros (including myself, Jeff Burk, Cameron Pierce and Eraserhead Press publisher Rose O’Keefe) to see what we’re up to during the zombie apocalypse. It’s like Space Ghost Coast to Coast meets Pee Wee’s Playhouse.
Also I highly recommend donating to the Rose kickstarter campaign. It just needs another $500 within the next 42 hours to meet its goal. Then it will get made! So help a filmmaker out! Every dollar is useful. This will be the first official bizarro fiction movie to be made, so let’s make it happen. Go here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1676362079/john-skipps-rose-the-bizarro-zombie-musical
This book is being re-issued as a stand alone this summer. It’s one of my books that very few have read, probably because of the high cover price. But at the time I wrote it I thought it was my best book by far. Since the original has been out of print for about a year, I hope you’ll get a chance to finally read it.
Here’s a description:
At one point in time, Heaven was a paradise. It was a blissful utopia full of wonders far beyond human comprehension. But that was a long, long time ago. The afterlife is now in ruins. It has become an ugly, lonely wasteland populated by strange monstrous beasts, masturbating angels, and sad man-like beings wallowing in the remains of the once-great Kingdom of God. As two recently departed souls arrive in Heaven, they discover their eternal home is not one of divine peace but of nightmarish ugliness. They go on a quest to explore this dead alien landscape, desperately seeking answers, allies, and some sort of place they can forever call home.
German experimental band PRÖGRESSOR has written a song inspired by my work. It’s called “opas leidenschaft für hirnsurrogate.” I’m not sure what it’s all about but I like the song.
Listen to it here:
http://www.myownmusic.de/window.php?songid=204669&sessionid=9pUEwHSrSfHs6P,Y3hQC4Qmk6Pf
"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
—Christopher Moore
"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
—Cory Doctorow
CARLTON MELLICK III is an oafish gentleman with the stylishest of sideburns. He is one of the leading authors in the bizarro fiction genre—a booming underground movement that strives to bring weird, crazy, entertaining literature to the masses. Imagine a mixture of David Lynch, Dr. Suess, South Park, and Troma movies.
He lives in Portland, OR.
Armadillo Fists
A weird-as-hell gangster story.
I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter
A demonic romantic comedy
Fantastic Orgy
One novella plus four short stories
Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
The sequel to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
The Morbidly Obese Ninja
He's a 700 pound killing machine
Crab Town
A bizarro bank heist set in a radioactive post-nuke ghetto
Zombies and Shit
Battle Royale meets Return of the Living dead
The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5)
Dungeons and Dragons Adventure Porn!
Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
Road Warrior werewolves vs. McDonaldland Mutants
The Cannibals of Candyland
an erotic horror novel set in Candyland
The Egg Man
dark, dystopian, ugly
The Faggiest Vampire
a bizarro children's book
Cybernetrix
two words: Tron sex
Apeshit
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q
The Ultra Fuckers
Japanese punks in suburban hell
Adolf in Wonderland
Nazis go down the rabbit hole
Carlton Mellick III
