Submission Call for “Christmas on Crack”

I’m looking for stories for an upcoming bizarro Christmas-themed anthology called “Christmas on Crack.”

What I’m looking for: very weird children’s Christmas stories for adults. I’m especially looking for fucked up versions of classic Christmas stories like Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Twas the Night Before Christmas, a Christmas Carol, etc, but something completely original would also be welcome. I want these stories to be funny, imaginative, surreal, trashy, clever, and not at all appropriate for children. Think of Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas meets Lloyd Kaufman’s Poultrygeist. The weirder the better, the trashier the better, the funnier the better. Surprise me.

Note: I would prefer if the stories were told in a narrative style similar to that of a children’s story. Think of The Faggiest Vampire meets Sausagey Santa. That’s the kind of thing I want to see, but better. But a good story is a good story no matter what style it’s written in.

Length: I’d like stories that are 3,000-12,000 words long.

How to submit: I actually don’t want you to write anything until after you contact me. Pitch me an idea for your story first. That way if I’m not interested then you don’t have to go through the trouble of writing it. I am only going to respond to story ideas that interest me, so if you never hear back from me it probably means that I think your story ideas are completely lame and you shouldn’t have even bothered to try. Well, either that or other pitches better caught my attention.

Send an idea (or three) for a bizarro Christmas story you’d like to write for me to: carltonmellick3@yahoo.com.

Deadline: I will be taking pitches until May 15th 2010 or sooner if I find enough ideas that I like.

4 Responses to “Submission Call for “Christmas on Crack””

  1. Scott Eubanks Says:

    Um… yeah- I’m already in for buying a copy… or 10

  2. Excellent…email away!

  3. ‘Tis the twisted season to be nasty. A Christmas Carol is my favorite holiday story. It’s one of my favorite holiday movies too, especially the George C. Scott and Patrick Stewart versions. General Patton and Captain Picard? Fuck yeah! Anywho, my twisted little idea for that classic story has been sent, sir!

  4. I’m already ready to buy this as well! :)

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