
"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
—Christopher Moore
"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
—Cory Doctorow
CARLTON MELLICK III is an oafish gentleman with the stylishest of sideburns. He is one of the leading authors in the bizarro fiction genre—a booming underground movement that strives to bring weird, crazy, entertaining literature to the masses. Imagine a mixture of David Lynch, Dr. Suess, South Park, and Troma movies.
He lives in Portland, OR.
The Handsome Squirm
Franz Kafka's The Trial meets an erotic horror version of The Blob
Armadillo Fists
A weird-as-hell gangster story.
I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter
A demonic romantic comedy
Fantastic Orgy
One novella plus four short stories
Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
The sequel to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
The Morbidly Obese Ninja
He's a 700 pound killing machine
Crab Town
A bizarro bank heist set in a radioactive post-nuke ghetto
Zombies and Shit
Battle Royale meets Return of the Living dead
The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5)
Dungeons and Dragons Adventure Porn!
Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
Road Warrior werewolves vs. McDonaldland Mutants
The Cannibals of Candyland
an erotic horror novel set in Candyland
The Egg Man
dark, dystopian, ugly
The Faggiest Vampire
a bizarro children's book
Cybernetrix
two words: Tron sex
Apeshit
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q
The Ultra Fuckers
Japanese punks in suburban hell
Adolf in Wonderland
Nazis go down the rabbit hole
"If you like satires which are highly imaginative, subversive, gory, funny as hell and completely surreal CM3 may be your literary messiah."
—Ricardo Gonzalez Del Valle
"CM3 is the most imaginative writer since Lethem and Vonnegut. Different, and absolutely thought provoking..."
—Daniel McCreary
"Carlton Mellick creates fascinating and intricate worlds out of meat, slime, sexuality, wire, and the kind of nightmares that make you laugh when you wake up."
—Jemiah Jefferson
"Brilliant writing that oozes into your skull and melts your brain like a box of a zillion crayons."
—Idiot Alien Thought Creature
"His books are from another universe."
—Cameron Pierce
"Mellick is smarter than the dumbness he tries to coat his writing in; you feel like you're reading a comic or watching MTV - but that underneath there is something deeper and smarter than the cartoonish presentation before your eyes."
—Euchrid
"Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."
—Ian David McGowen
"There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety. Yes, it's all on purpose, and you've just been had!"
—Schtinky
"Mellick has definitely joined the ranks of the bizarre literary geniuses such as Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, and Vonnegut."
—Charles Glover
"Mellick's imagination is boundless, and his writing truly shows this. His characters, plot, and writing style are original, enjoyable, and inspiring."
—Lionel Bigsby
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