2009 December 07 « Carlton Mellick III

Archive for December 7, 2009

Get 4 bizarro books for the price of 3

Posted in Bizarro Books on December 7, 2009 by carltonmellick

I thought some of you might be interested to know that Amazon.com is running a 4-for-3 promotion. Buy four eligible items and get the lowest priced item free. This combined with the free super saver shipping (on orders over $25) saves a lot of money.

Go here for a full list of all Eraserhead Press books available on the 4 for 3 deal:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/RNNR64Y4RFDQH/ref=cm_lm_pthnk_view?ie=UTF8&lm_bb=

My books available for the 4 for 3 deal are these:

Sausagey Santa
The Faggiest Vampire
Baby Jesus Butt Plug
The Haunted Vagina
Ultra Fuckers
War Slut
Sea of the Patchwork Cats
Teeth and Tongue Landscape

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"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
—Christopher Moore

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
—Cory Doctorow

CARLTON MELLICK III is an oafish gentleman with the stylishest of sideburns. He is one of the leading authors in the bizarro fiction genre—a booming underground movement that strives to bring weird, crazy, entertaining literature to the masses. Imagine a mixture of David Lynch, Dr. Suess, South Park, and Troma movies.
He lives in Portland, OR.
Featured Titles

The Handsome Squirm
Franz Kafka's The Trial meets an erotic horror version of The Blob

Armadillo Fists
A weird-as-hell gangster story.

I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter
A demonic romantic comedy

Fantastic Orgy
One novella plus four short stories

Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
The sequel to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

The Morbidly Obese Ninja
He's a 700 pound killing machine

Crab Town
A bizarro bank heist set in a radioactive post-nuke ghetto

Zombies and Shit
Battle Royale meets Return of the Living dead

The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5)
Dungeons and Dragons Adventure Porn!

Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
Road Warrior werewolves vs. McDonaldland Mutants

The Cannibals of Candyland
an erotic horror novel set in Candyland

The Egg Man
dark, dystopian, ugly

The Faggiest Vampire
a bizarro children's book

Cybernetrix
two words: Tron sex

Apeshit
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q

The Ultra Fuckers
Japanese punks in suburban hell

Adolf in Wonderland
Nazis go down the rabbit hole
All Books by Carlton Mellick
Bizarro Fiction Sites
- Bizarro Central
Bizarro Fiction Writers
Bizarro Starter Kits
Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"If you like satires which are highly imaginative, subversive, gory, funny as hell and completely surreal CM3 may be your literary messiah."
—Ricardo Gonzalez Del Valle

"CM3 is the most imaginative writer since Lethem and Vonnegut. Different, and absolutely thought provoking..."
—Daniel McCreary

"Carlton Mellick creates fascinating and intricate worlds out of meat, slime, sexuality, wire, and the kind of nightmares that make you laugh when you wake up."
—Jemiah Jefferson

"Brilliant writing that oozes into your skull and melts your brain like a box of a zillion crayons."
—Idiot Alien Thought Creature

"His books are from another universe."
—Cameron Pierce

"Mellick is smarter than the dumbness he tries to coat his writing in; you feel like you're reading a comic or watching MTV - but that underneath there is something deeper and smarter than the cartoonish presentation before your eyes."
—Euchrid

"Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."
—Ian David McGowen

"There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety. Yes, it's all on purpose, and you've just been had!"
—Schtinky

"Mellick has definitely joined the ranks of the bizarre literary geniuses such as Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, and Vonnegut."
—Charles Glover

"Mellick's imagination is boundless, and his writing truly shows this. His characters, plot, and writing style are original, enjoyable, and inspiring."
—Lionel Bigsby
Recent Posts
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Carlton’s Twitter Feed
- New issue of The Dream People nblo.gs/xEj3Q 3 days ago
- @John_Lemut there's already a satan burger anus cover. no need for two. 1 week ago
- @robertnlee It actually came out in 2001. This edition was supposed to be released last year but the bonus content held it back 1 week ago
- Cover art for future books: Wonka, Quicksand House, and Satan Burger: 10th Anniversary Edition nblo.gs/xoJq4 1 week ago
- OUT NOW: “Red World” nblo.gs/x48Rw 2 weeks ago
Carlton Mellick III
- New issue of The Dream People May 15, 2012
  features an excerpt from Armadillo Fists
  carltonmellick
- Cover art for future books: Wonka, Quicksand House, and Satan Burger: 10th Anniversary Edition May 8, 2012
  Just showing off cover art for books that won't be coming out for quite a while. There's "Wonka" which is kind of like a retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the world of Beyond Thunderdome, "Quicksand House" a quiet surreal story about children in search of their parents inside a mansion the size of a country, and […]
  carltonmellick
- OUT NOW: “Red World” April 30, 2012
  My novelette "Red World" has just been released by White belly Press. It is a 30 page trade paperback with a very limited run of 100 copies. If you want a copy I suggest you get it right away.
  carltonmellick
- OUT NOW: “The Handsome Squirm” April 18, 2012
  My new book is now available.
  carltonmellick
- BizarroCon tickets available April 17, 2012
  If you are involved or want to be involved in the bizarro fiction scene this is a must-attend event.
  carltonmellick
- New Carlton Mellick III Message Board January 25, 2012
  I now have a new message board. Come by and say hi.
  carltonmellick
- T-2000 action figure January 3, 2012
  I pity the fool who doesn't wish they could own a T-2000 action figure.
  carltonmellick
- OUT NOW: “Armadillo Fists” + 2 more bizarro books December 29, 2011
  A weird-as-hell gangster story set in a world where people drive giant mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars.
  carltonmellick
- Cover for “Pippi of the Apocalypse” December 17, 2011
  It might not be for a year or more before this one comes out, but for fans of the Warrior Wolf Women world I wanted to announce that I will in fact be writing the third book in the series.
  carltonmellick
- COMING SOON: “Tumor Fruit” December 14, 2011
  A bizarro island survival story set on an alien planet.
  carltonmellick
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Carlton Mellick III

Archive for December 7, 2009

Get 4 bizarro books for the price of 3

Pages

Featured Titles

All Books by Carlton Mellick

Bizarro Fiction Sites

Bizarro Fiction Writers

Bizarro Starter Kits

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

Recent Posts

Archives

Carlton’s Twitter Feed

Carlton Mellick III

Meta

Follow “Carlton Mellick III”